I wouldn't but with Fifty Grand lingering around the half million mark in Amazon sales (which means that there are half a million things selling better) the banshee of panic has descended upon the McKinty household. How can I get the book to inch up the Amazon rankings? In these difficult times it's all about marketing (as it is in not difficult times too) and as I see it there are five main approaches:1. Attempt To Jump on a Bandwagon
What do you think the pic to the right is all about about from just being adorable?
2. Pick A Fight
I'm done with soft targets like Bono and Abba, I'm going into the hornet's nest. President Amadinnerjacket of Iran - your beard sucks! You heard me right pal, I could grow a better beard on a weekend bender to Glasgow than you've apparently been able to grow in your whole life. What do you say to that scrofula face? Hey, any chance of an attention grabbing (but non lethal) fatwah?...And if that doesn't work just wait till you hear what I have to say about the King of Thailand
3. Generate Fake Controversy
Did I mention that I wrote this book while injecting Alex Rodriguez with steroids, while he was partying with Madonna at a naked debauch at Rush Limbaugh's house? I didn't? Well I just have.
4. Demonstrate How Much Better Your Product Is Than The Competition's
See the thing about that Che movie is that Soderberg never actually visited Cuba. Or if he did (I cant be bothered to do the research on this) he got shown round a series of Potemkin villages and probably stayed at the Hotel Nacional which is run by the freakin Cuban secret police. Whereas I lived the life, man, got drunk with real Cubans, bribed real Cuban cops, got knocked over by a real Cuban car and got solicited by thousands of real Cuban hookers, etc. etc.
5. Have a Competition That Gives Away Books
Ok lets try that one then. My box of galleys came and I reckon I can afford to give away about four of them (I'd give away them all but the postage from Oz is shocking). Therefore my next post will be that long delayed and promised signed Fifty Grand ARC giveaway, so if you want to blag a signed galley stay tuned. Oh and what the hell a book to the person who can ID who's speaking in the title quote for this post.
48 comments:
This is too easy.
Cute WatchPeanuts.
I won't be buying 50G through Amazon, having promised to support my local independent bookstore more often this year. But you can be sure I'll be getting it, Adrian. And when you run a compo, I'll link to it from my LJ. I'm sure there are a few people who'll be up for a free book. Let's spread the word!
Adrian,
My wife loved Fifty Grand, and it's next on my list.
I'm not sure who said that quote, but here's another one for all your fans:
"Who watches Adrian McKinty?"
-Anonymous (a.k.a. Bono)
Adrian Mole.
You could make yourself into a superhero.
Ah, Declan, you just beat me to it with Adrian Mole.
The chances of getting hold of a signed copy of 50G for my partner seem to be slipping through my buttery fingers.
Okay, I'm hoping my lack of speed, knowledge and talent won't hinder me in this little quiz...
Alan
You could make yourself into a superhero.
I'm the incredible thoughtful philantrophist. No really.
Wait a minute. If you look at the actual book sales rank, 50G is actually at 64,744, which may not sound like the bestseller list, but is none too shabby for a book that isn't even published, or as far as I can tell, publicized yet.
So don't go for the 'benevolent' fatwah approach just yet.
marco has given two good clues, but no one has got the answer yet.
Michael
You're the man, I appreciate it dude and yes I completely understand about suppots the indies.
Brian
Did you hear that Bono called Chris Martin a "total wanker" on the BBC on Friday?
Wish I'd been there to heckle "Takes one to know one."
Dec
Have you seen Watchmen yet? They had Irish previews last week didnt they?
Alan
You can guess again, the book is still out there.
Seana
I just read Tim Hallinan's new book (excellent BTW). Tim actually lives in Thailand so he's totally in a position to get massive PR by doing something ridiculous involving the monarchy. Is it worth the three years in a Thai jail for lese majeste? Probably not.
Good point about the book sales and yes, support your local indo.
I'll add another clue: it's not Batman.
John
That's pretty cool.
Surplus to Marco's hint -- You really should watch it, man...
Come on, Alan. Get back in the game.
gb
John - Too much fun. I'm General Armed Trigger! I'll accept The GAT as an abbreviation.
I should be writing, though.
gb
Adrian: "Come on, Sophie, you can do it--I see dead people."
Sophie:(rolling her eyes, perhaps even in a slightly possessed sort of way)" And I see Dad, people."
As Marco has commented, the parricidal themes going on under your very roof are all too obvious. In short, you would probably be safer in Thailand, though only if you don't consort with critical journalists. You are walking right on the cliff's edge and don't even know it.
Oh, and Michael, thanks for your support of the independents. Working in an indie as I do, I see how much is stacked against them/us. Just this past week, our friendly rival in Capitola has announced that they are going to need subscribers in order to stay afloat. The article is here, but reading between the lines, it is probably a much more dire situation than they are even saying. You don't start asking for subscribers to a commercial business unless you really, really have to.
Hmmm.....I dont have my copy in front of me (I really should have a spare for work....) but it's either Nite-Owl II or Silk Spectre II. Half a galley? I do live in Melbourne, y'know....ahh screw it, Silk Spectre.
no. wait. Nite-Owl...
Cameron
Give me an email or an address and one galley will be on its way to you tomorrow.
Seana
Thats pretty grim. I think I told you already that my beloved High Crimes in Boulder went belly up last year.
Yes, you did mention High Crimes. And I was sorry to hear it.
It seems pretty obvious that the old bookstore model as we've long known it isn't working, and that a new one is still to be invented. I'm sorry to say that as an employee of the old model, I do have a colder eye for the whole game, because I feel that, long before the current economic crisis hit, the staff of bookstores has basically been asked to suck it up for the cause. Financially, we understand, because we can see the numbers as well as anyone, but in a sense of self-preservation sort of way, it stopped making sense awhile ago. I don't think most people on the bookstore level of the book biz have ever expected to get rich, but at this point, we're talking about a kind of sacrificial lifestyle that again doesn't really correspond to what is after all a commercial venture.
I know that the owners of independent bookstores get together and discuss all these issues all the time, so I hope I'm not painting them in dark brushstrokes. There is really some missing piece--possibly some non-existent piece--that would make the whole enterprise make sense again. It isn't there yet.
I hasten to say that this may well be bad news for bookstores, but it isn't the same kind of bad news for writers or, for that matter, readers. There are hopeful things for both readers and writers in the brave new digital, web-connected world, whatever the losses. I don't think that can be said for storefront bookstores. But there may still turn out to be a different kind of hope. I just don't know what it is yet.
comic nerdom finally pays off!cool! cjamesashley@hotmail.com (i'll give you my address from there if that's ok...)
Thanks so much. I plan on buying it too, just so's you know....
Also, I think I'm destined to never really get any of the title allusions, even when it turns out that I should know them, so thank god I already have a galley--unsigned to be sure, but that just meant I could cart it around to my various reading haunts without worrying about it too much.
Does everyone here know that our friend and fellow commenter Brian O'Rourke's book The Unearthed is going to 'go live', so to speak, in about four hours? You can check that all out here. I know you've already read it and even blurbed it, Adrian, but Brian hasn't taken any of your tips and used this site to, say, issue a fatwah against you or Gerard or anyone in order to generate publicity. I do suggest reading the editor's blog post that he mentions, as it is funny, and actually is a pretty great endorsement of the book. Food for thought, anyone who might happen to have a novel coming out soon.
And, no--I am not Brian's agent. Just for the record. I actually haven't even read the book. But I'm going to.
Seana,
What's your address again? I need to send you that check...oh wait, this is a public forum.
Thanks for the kind words. I really appreciate your support.
And no, no fatwahs for me. I considered it for awhile but decided against it. Not from any moral standpoint mind you, but because economically-speaking, they just don't provide a big enough return on investment these days.
Adrian,
Tough hypothetical here. You're watching Celebrity Death Match, and Bono and Chris Martin are fighting to the death. Whom does one root for?
Oh, Brian, if only those ayatollahs had the same level-headed business sense as you.
I was considering selling my own ability to (pretend to) read through an earthquake for any author who needed a selling point here, but then realized that the investment in sack cloth and ashes I would need to make in order to convince Mother Earth that I was kidding would not be worth it. (Gaia, please don't kill me with an 8.0 for my frivolity. Also, please don't kill me for being stupid enough to live in California. Or really, just please don't kill me.)
Cam
The book is on the way. Yes geekdom pays off.
I was reading Mad Magazine this afternoon (dont snigger) and there's actually a pretty funny Watchmen parody in the middle bit.
Brian
Hmmm Bono v Chris Martin? Its like when Hitler invaded the Soviet Union. I think CM mocks himself more than Bono so you'd have to give it to CM. Also I found Gwyneth P pretty hot in that Wes Anderson movie.
Seana
I'm always amazed whenever I see a vinyl record shop, I think thats probably going to be my reaction when I see bookshops in the future.
The last time I was in SC, it was just after an Earthquake (like maybe a year after) and the place still looked a mess.
Actually, MAD has pulled its socks right up in the last couple of years, since moving to DC. I had to be FORCED into checking it out, but was quietly impressed when I did. I'll check it out..what were you doing with it? Is Peter Kuper still doing Spy vs Spy? Renaissance for that strip, for sure...Rich Johnston, comics gossip columnist (yes there is such a thing...hes quite good too) has a parody called "WATCHMENSCH" which is WACTHMEN by way of copyright lawyers. looks like fun: http://www.watchmensch.com/
Cameron,
I was in to buy the 2000AD Christmas Special but I flipped through Mad while I was there. I only really read the Watchmen parody which was drawn very well and much to my surprise was hilarious. In fact I bet even Alan Moore would find it funny.
And speaking of Mr M. He's still claiming that he came from the "tough part of Northampton" in this piece in yesterday's Observer. But he's an interesting guy none the less.
I drink all night, work all day, get home, log on and then find that the bloody book is already winging its way to the winner.
I must make more time: the job has to go.
Alan
Oh, and I have to agree with Seana on the placing of 50G in the sales list. I have it's pre-release rank at 257,000
My sad little effort of a book (jointly written, in fact) has been on sale since 2004 and is only ranked 157,956.
Yes, I'll give up my day job...
That would definitely be my strategy, Alan.
What's the book?
Alan
What's the book?
I'll provide a link.
Oh dear, I put my foot in it super fast. Not a writer of literature. My stuff is much more Haynes car manual genre. I write academic stuff. I'm a sociologist but the 'seller' is about research methods.
Not a creative sentence or even word in my body, I think.
Can we get back to the thinning number of 50G books up for winning? Karl Marx would no doubt accuse me of commodity fetishism but: I WANT
Alan
Thomas Pynchon was a technical writer for Boeing for a long time.
Anyway yup I'll have that competition up and running in the next 24.
Alan -
your lifestyle sounds ok to me. the trick is to try and do these things whilst AT work...
Charlie Brown is about as angst-ridden as Dr. Manhattan, isn't he?
I'm always amazed whenever I see a vinyl record shop, I think thats probably going to be my reaction when I see bookshops in the future.
Yes, sadly, I think it is. Or, if not you then the people following just after you. I walk throught the bookstore sometimes and have the same presentiment myself.
Santa Cruz after the earthquake was a strange place. The whole downtown was blocked off by chainlink fences for a couple of years. When those came down, people strolled Pacific Avenue in exhileration, even though there were no shops and nothing to buy. It had been so long since there was any kind of central meeting place. It does remind me now that commerce is not the sole or even the most important element of the public square.
Which might be good to know, as consumerism seems to be on the way out too.
adrian, thanks for the Moore link...he really is the world's most curmudgeonly millionaire magician, eh?
Peter
I think its interesting that Schulz refused until his dying day to let CB kick the football. Peanuts was an anti myth of Sisyphus. Optimism is always trumped by terrible experience.
Seana
Although art books will still sell, thats one thing you cant duplicate on the internet and no one wants to buy them on amazon.
Cameron
He is a grump, but hes giving all hs movie money to Dave Gibbons which is nice.
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