If you're not American you may have missed the Gatesgate story (lucky you) so I'll summarise: black Harvard Professor, Henry Louis Gates, locked himself out, broke into his own house, got spotted by a busybody neighbour who called the cops, the cops came, harsh words were exchanged, the cops lured Gates outside and arrested him and then all the charges were dropped. Gates is a friend of President Obama who said that the Cambridge police were "stupid" for arresting him. End of story, right? Wrong. Right wing nuts on the Fox network (who called last year for Candidate Obama to be assassinated and successfully incited the murder of an abortion doctor earlier this year) are now saying that Obama hates all cops and white people. Instead of ignoring this nonsense (Obama of course has a white mother and was raised by his white grandparents) Obama said, look guys lets get together and have a beer: Henry, the cop, me and Joe Biden....
They met on Thursday at the White House for this ghastly sounding party and I really couldn't care less about any of it except that it's interesting to learn what they actually drank:
...First, Joe Biden: Bucklers - a non alcoholic lager. This tells me a lot about JB. Only two types of people drink Bucklers. Designated drivers and alcoholics. Biden has a secret service limo to take him around so it's not the former; could it be the latter? Well, he's working class Irish, he used to drink heavily and he's had a lot of family tragedy. Draw your own conclusions.
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Second, Dr. Gates: Reports differ on what Henry Louis Gates drank. Some say Red Stripe, others Sam Adams Light. Red Stripe is an awful Jamaican beer which is watery, tasteless, chemically and insipid. There's only one place to drink Red Stripe and that's the beach at Negril when the sun's setting and you are toasted out of your tree on fresh cut gange. Dr Gates may have had a good holiday to Jamaica once but trying to recapture that experience by drinking Red Stripe in America is a huge mistake. Sam Adams Light is the worst beer Sam Adams make. Good company, very bad beer.
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Third, Police Sergeant James Crowley: Blue Moon Wheat beer. Not a bad choice from Sgt Crowley. Blue Moon wheat isn't as good as their Winter Ale but I've had worse. It's got a slighty lemony flavor and a moderate kick. Good for a summer's day and you could knock back 6 of them and still hold your own with the President.
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Fourth and last, President Obama: Bud Light. There's a pretty good chance that Bud Light might be the worst beer in America, possibly the world. I had it once at a party and to me it tasted like mild washing up liquid in a glass of coloured water. Beer Rater has no good things to say about Bud Light. They give it a rating of 1.15 and its in zeroth percentile for good beers. Yes, it is that bad. What was Obama thinking? He's a sharp guy with taste and discretion, he can't actually like the stuff. Maybe he was influenced by his good pal George Clooney who, short of a few bucks, shills for Budweiser, doing the voice overs for their commercials? Maybe it's because the company gave to his campaign? Perhaps, but actually I suspect that Obama thinks that drinking Bud Light will make him seem more of a "man of the people" or something. Nothing could be further from the truth. It makes him look like George HW Bush in a supermarket or Sarah Palin in a library - weird and out of place.
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Life is too short to drink bad beer. Don't do it. Not everyone can get Westvletern (though I did) but if you go to Beer Rater's best of page you'll find something good for you and your pocket and please never drink Bud Light not even when it's to placate the tinfoil heads who watch Fox News.
53 comments:
This is the most informative summary of Gatesgate that I have read so far! Thank you. What a bunch of whoey. I'm not even a big bear drinker and I was ashamed at the choices all of those men made. Jeez. Bud Light? What was he thinking. Also, why did they each have a different kind of beer? To further point out their differences? Or was it meant to be some kind of lesson? We are all human; we like beer. We are individuals; we drink different brands of beer. Probably spending too much time thinking about it...
I meant "beer". Duh. Need more coffee.
Why'd they ignore Sam's Boston Lager? That one's tasty & local for Gates and the cop. Bud Lite is indeed shite. However, I like Red Stripe from the can on the beach and never have been a big fan of wheat beers, though Hoegaarden is tolerable.
Shiner Bock. 'Nuff said.
You can't beat Shandy Bass in my opinion. Wonder what Beer Rater makes of that?
The floor manager yesterday yesterday said that he too was disappointed with Obama. As a politically savvy lefty sort of guy, I was sure it would be about healthcare, gays in the military, something like that. But no--he was simply deploring the guys taste in beer.
The Prez is not a beer drinker, which has been pretty clear right from the start. I'm not sure why this became a beer drinking detente, then, but I have to say that whether it succeeded or not, it was at least an interesting approach. The true measure of success would really be whether Gates, Obama and the cop actually were able to have a real conversation amid the media hubbub, which I do have my doubts about. Conflict resolution lite would be my guess. But still, it's one of those things that ruffles a lot of feathers, brings up a lot of old wounds and grudges and why not try to defuse that a bit on the White House lawn?
I know the real topic here is beer, though. I did have a chance to try that Blue Moon Wheat on my cousin's Wisconsin farm only last weekend. And yes, it was a very nice thing to drink on a summer afternoon. There were some Bud Lites in attendance too, though. I suppose this is heresy, but actually the Miller Lites with Lime weren't half bad--very spritzy.
Adrian! Could you step outside and we'll have a little chat about the non-alcoholic lager?
Bud Lite. Jesus Christ. No wonder he rolls over every time a Republican objects to a comma in a bill.
Somebody was drinking amber and I could totally tell. Might've been Biden or Gates. How in the world did you find out what they were drinking? Good research.
I totally agree with you. Bud Light is the worst beer on the planet, but very popular in US for some reason. Maybe the Super Bowl commercials. Maybe the drunken rednecks in scraggly beards and NASCAR garb. Obama's just trying to "fit in." He's far too cool to drink a bad beer. I think he's not a real beer-drinker and simply went for what seems to be popular - for some reason that totally escapes me.
Anon
Well because of all my years in Boston I have to say I'm quite partial to Sam Adams. I think they could have gotten a Sam Adams sampler crate of 12 different beers and everyone could have taken what they wanted. Democractic and a sensible choice.
HB
Well I've had Red Stripe on the beach in Jamaica too and it was quite a pleasant, however I was under the influence of a different stimulant completely during that experience. So I'll give a qualified endorsement there.
Corey
Never had Shiner bock, though I do like a good dark bock, especially in the autumn.
Michael
You may have to explain what is for our American readers, although it takes me to Larne in 1986 when I was doing my driving lessons with a rather severe woman and to recover would sometimes have a shandy bass while waiting for the train back to Carrick in the station bar.
Seana
This is a really good way to annoy to your base. I like the South, and I like rednecks (I'm one of them) but Obama pretending to be a regular guy by drinking BL isn't cool.
Obama could have saved the situation if he'd lit up a Marlboro Light - we all know he still smokes 'em - that could have been ok Bud Light and Marlboro Light and a little basketball, that works doesnt it?
Miss Witch
I know for a fact that you have never had Bucklers in your life. Believe me it's not that wonderful, although it may have tick killing properties.
Dana
Rahm doesn't drink, Obamam doesn't drank, Joe Biden clearly doesn't drink, Obama needs some kind of beer advisor in his cabinet. Now that Michael Jackson's dead (the beer one) I think I could do that job. I'm going to send in my resume.
Liam
You really should drive down to the Great American Beer Fest in Denver. It's completely awesome. 1000 microbreweries, sampler tickets, freebies...Ahhh, happy days. And Illegal Pete's Burritos is just across the road.
Incidentally I've just remembered that I recently went drinking with two Irish crime writers both of whom ordered Bud Light. Now this post is not a slight on their beer integrity because Irish Bud Light is brewed under license by Guinness and tastes very different from US Bud Light. It actually tastes a little like Sam Adams Boston Lager
What an uedifying, embarrassing carry-on this whole affair was at every level. It was excruciating at work watching CNN's nonstop coverage of this non-event. It's a damn good thing the sound was turned off.
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Detectives Beyond Borders
"Because Murder Is More Fun Away From Home"
http://www.detectivesbeyondborders.blogspot.com
Peter
No one comes out of it well. The cops should have left him alone, Obama should have said nothing and I'm not impressed by HLG either. You know in class 1 week 1 of law school they tell you about the difference between the public and private spheres. If you're in your own home and a cop asks you to "step outside" for a moment you must never go. Even Jay Z knows better than to do that.
The woman who called police said she had been harassed and called a racist, about the worst thing one can be called in America. Then police released tapes of her call. She made no reference to the race of the two men she saw trying to break into the house. After the dispatcher asked, "Black? White Hispanic?" she said one of the men might possibly been Hispanic.
For this she is harassed, and she does even get invited to the White House to sip crappy beer with the publicity seekers.
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Detectives Beyond Borders
"Because Murder Is More Fun Away From Home"
http://www.detectivesbeyondborders.blogspot.com
They just started bringing Bud Lime into Canada. They have the stones to charge imported beer prices for that.
Nice to see a lot of decent Canadian ales represented, although I rarely drink them when I'm not in Montreal.
What was that beer Michael Forsythe kept in his fridge? Kept it so cold he couldn't taste it?
Bud Lite in Canada? That sounds like an act of war. Next thing, Dan Burton is going to demand that New York-style bagels be allowed in Montreal under NAFTA.
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Detectives Beyond Borders
"Because Murder Is More Fun Away From Home"
http://www.detectivesbeyondborders.blogspot.com
Dear Auntie Adrian
I seek advice regarding my bbf, best bear friend..er my beer beast friend...ahem best beer friend.
He's a nice fella, and he can certainly mix with the best; on a good night the rate with which bottles get emptied on his side of the table really warms your heart.
I'm starting to think, however, that we're not totally compatible.
My tastes in beer are pretty ecumenical, but I favor strong, colourful flavours - from red ale to dark stout, bock to strong lager, malted and double-malted, chestnut beers,smoked beers, etc.
He only drinks light lagers and white (wheat/yeast) beers. He may try, even like, other types of beer, but he says they don't flow as well, and stops after a mere pint to come back to his beloved wheat beers. Even worse, he believes good beers only come from Germany. Ireland or Belgium, for example, hold no interest for him.
His fixation with Germany is so great that he has asked me for private lessons in order to complement the basic vocabulary acquired with years of Oktoberfests (Brot, Weisse, Hefeweizen, Michael Schumacher).I told him a good idea would be to start with modern music lyrics, like Eins Zwei Polizei (doesn't strike me as a Einstürzende Neubauten kind of guy).
There's another thing that bugs me.
I explained to him that his portly frame, jovial face, rugged good looks and muscle/body fat ratio make him the quintessential bear ,yet he seems esitant to renounce his unholy heterosexual ways.
I understand he may feel some uncertainty in the beginning, so I offered to give him private lessons, but when I broach the subject he comes up with lame excuses like "my girlfriend wouldn't like it" (doh! Everybody knows heterosexual women love hot male on male sex. Hasn't Brokeback Mountain told us anything?) or strange non sequiturs ("Hell should freeze over", "Do I have to watch my ass now?")
Dear auntie, do you think our drinking relationship has a future?
Signed
Concerned beer lover
Matt
Forsythe drinks Schlitz Lite if I recall correctly. When I lived in Forsythe's apartment in Harlem I have to admit that I used to drink Schlitz. I could get a 12 pack for 5 dollars. My MO would be to get a six pack of Brooklyn Beer's Pennant Ale and the 12 pack of Schlitz. Two Schlitz at just above freezing when you came home and then when you thirst was quenched a Pennant Ale.
Peter
I saw HLG lecture once at Columbia. Quite a prickly fellow. A touch of the "little man in search of a balcony" thing about him. I certainly dont think you should be a compliant slave in the presence of a police officer but you're going to mouth off to them dont go outside where they can throw any number of statutes on your ass.
Marco
You've come to the right peson. What I dont know about beers I just make up. I can bullshit with the best of them (and have done so). I'm also an expert in relationships having read Pride and Prejudice twice.
I think there's a chance of this beer buddy friendship 1) lasting and 2) developing into something more interesting but it will only work if you do everything I say.
This is the plan: Go to Munich and attend this year's Oktoberfest, which as I'm sure you know, is in September. If my experience can be generalised, and of course it can, three steins of wheat beer will cure him of that particular prediliction and leave him open to new experiences as he clutches to you in fear at the hordes of drunken Aussies, Brits, Yanks and Germans vomiting their way home through the streets of Munich. Friendless in a strange land where they speak an alien tongue...if you cant blag that into something I'm sure you are not worthy to hear any more "advice".
I drank Bud Lite when I was in high school because, it was available.
I lived next door to Sam Adams brewing co in Jamaica Plain / Boston neighborhood, and the living situation was pretty bad. So poor Sam, I avoid drinking anything including the much vaunted fall special deal (I can't recall the name) Octoberfest? Anyway, my loss because I associate it with my dumb housing luck.
I like Bass Ale, but now only in Canada. They make beer stronger in Canada, so I hear, and drinking it in Boston is dissapointing.
I also like Tsingtao. It's sweet. I love it actually.
And then Negro Modelo.
Recall the razzing Obama got when he was a candidate and went bowling. His score was pretty dismal. Imagine then if he ordered a Tsing Tao, or Negro Modelo. Perhaps the Bud Lite was a way to get keening attention off of him, if possible.
Sheiler
I've raved here before about Illegal Pete's Burritos in Denver and Boulder.
Every Saturday for nearly 10 years I'd go there with the fam, order a big potato burrito and a couple of Negro Modelos. Muy muy bueno.
I was also thinking that the only thing this unedifying story lacked was for Obama to drink some foreign beer and spark a new controversy.
Do I exaggerate? A controversy erupted in Philadelphia when John Kerry ordered the wrong kind of cheese on his cheesesteak.
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Detectives Beyond Borders
"Because Murder Is More Fun Away From Home"
http://detectivesbeyondborders.blogspot.com/
I've never understood why or how this quintessentially German-American company has such a monopoly on Saint Patrick's day. One day the Micks are going to rise up and refuse to drink Miller, Coors or Budweiser or that Uncle Tom Killians brand.
Tsing Tao has an interesting history - first brewed by Germans when they were in Shanghai; when they bugged out, the Chinese left well enough alone. I know on the west coast, anyhow, for a long time it was said Tsing Tao was maybe the best German beer you could easily find.
The more I think about it the more I think that this must have been a very unappealing venue to drink beer, Bud or otherwise. Looking at that picture, I find myself thinking that the cop and probably Gates are wondering, am I really supposed to go through this ordeal on one solitary beer? How do you ask for another in the Rose Garden?
Even I began to feel sorry for them until Obama yelled: "Beer pong!"
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Detectives Beyond Borders
"Because Murder Is More Fun Away From Home"
http://detectivesbeyondborders.blogspot.com/
Seana
As I say, if it had been me I'd have bummed one of Obama's smokes.
Matt
Well Lowenbrau is everywhere now and its pretty damn good. Have you ever had Becks Dark Lager? Pretty good too and yup its everywhere.
Peter
I like drunken games of darts myself. There's that frisson of danger.
Those of you who think beer pong is without danger probably haven't read Brian O'Rourke's post about the sport.
Adrian,
So there's science and statistics to back up what everyone's been saying all along: Bud Light sucks. I didn't need the validation of my own opinion, but oddly enough, I feel better having gotten it.
Seana,
As with all sports, there are risks!
And speaking of darts, one of these days I will learn and actually remember how to play cricket.
Cool scenario for a murder mystery: a bunch of guys playing darts in a bar on one of those electronic darts machines, and someone substitutes a metal dart point for one of the plastic points ...
Other things that probably got said at the White House:
"'Scuse me, Mr. President, but you got a TV in this dump? This is booo-ring; I wanna watch a game."
"'Scuse me, Mr. President. I gotta take a whiz. I'll be right back."
And beer? "Having a beer" is shorthand for "Let's go to the bar." It need not be literal. I'll talk about having a Guinness, but I'll have a Bulmer's instead. But, because this is the White House and a feel-good photo-op, everyone concerned (probably on orders of the White House chief of staff) feels constrained to take Obama literally and have a beer when they might prefer some other beverage.
Maybe Gates would have preferred to yell, "Hey, everybody,Pouilly-Fuissé pong!"
Then again, if Obama had invited the guys over a beer, then served wine, Fox News would have accused him of breaking his promises.
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Detectives Beyond Borders
"Because Murder Is More Fun Away From Home"
http://detectivesbeyondborders.blogspot.com/
I think Obama (and everybody else)should drink "Super Bock". That's EXCELLENT beer!
Brian
Well I think I've shared my drunken driven range experiences. That could be a little hairy too.
Yeah Beer Rater's worst of the worst page contains few surprises. Its pretty much what we were all expecting.
Peter
I think Obama would be good at darts. He's tall and apparently has pretty good hand-eye.
It would have been funny if the cameras had cut away and when they'd come back it was a John Ford movie, chairs flying around and people in headlocks.
I actually think Henry Louis Gates might be the most antagonistic of the 4, he was pretty shirty when I saw him speak.
Liliana
Super Bock is pretty well known in the UK. For some reason Man United fans have started drinking it, but let know that disturb anyone. They do make good beers.
I had a really interesting one once called Abadia (I think) which tasted like a dark wheat beer (if you can imagine such a thing). It was strong and refreshing with a pleasant caramelly aftertaste. Good stuff.
Yes, Super Bock (SB) Abadia is good stuff.
And Man United fans get disturbing (or, should I say, more disturbing) when drinking SB because they're used to drinking British ale (quite different stuff).
I think there are pretty good things here, especially when it comes to food and drinks (Porto wine, for instance, is unique), however most people for some reason don't get the chance to know the best bits of this country. A shame...
What country would that be? Portugal, I presume?
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Detectives Beyond Borders
"Because Murder Is More Fun Away From Home"
http://detectivesbeyondborders.blogspot.com/
From Obama, one might have expected Audacity of Hops
And not in a bottle, but in a yes we can.
=================
Detectives Beyond Borders
"Because Murder Is More Fun Away From Home"
http://detectivesbeyondborders.blogspot.com/
Liliana
I dont know how the whole Man U thing got started. Its odd. I agree good beer though.
I've had some really good Ports in my time. I went for dinner once at All Souls college in Oxford, we had Port and Madeira that were laid down in the nineteenth century.
Marco
Hmmm 91st percentile. Not bad at all.
Peter
I always loved the irony of the 2004 election when Bush was the candidate most men would "like to have a beer with" when of course he was a tee-totaller.
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