As some of you may know my little brother Gareth is currently an intelligence officer serving in Afghanistan. He's got a lot on his plate but among his tasks is helping in the hunt for Al Qaeda operatives and Mr Bin Laden himself. OBL is in one of three places: The Afghani side of the Af-Pak border, the Waziri side of the Af-Pak border or Pakistan administered Kashmir. As confident as I am in my little brother's abilities, conventional methods of finding OBL don't seem to be working which is why I think the time has come to bring in 70's TV favourite Grizzly Adams. Why do I say this? Well, I think the following story from the BBC explains it better than I can:Bear kills militants in Kashmir
By Altaf Hussain
BBC News, Srinagar
A bear killed two militants after discovering them in its den in Indian-administered Kashmir, police say. Two other militants escaped, one of them badly wounded, after the attack in Kulgam district, south of Srinagar. The militants had assault rifles but were taken by surprise - police found the remains of pudding they had made to eat when the bear attacked.
It is thought to be the first such incident since Muslim separatists took up arms against Indian rule in 1989. The militants had made their hideout in a cave which was actually the bear's den, said police officer Farooq Ahmed. The dead have been identified as Mohammad Amin alias Qaiser, and Bashir Ahmed alias Saifullah.
News of the attack emerged when their injured comrade went to a nearby village for treatment. "Word spread in the village that Qaiser had been killed by the bear," another police officer said. A joint party of the police and army personnel went into the forest and collected the bodies of the two militants. Police say they also recovered two Kalashnikov assault rifles and some ammunition from the hideout.
42 comments:
Let's hope that bin Laden eats pudding.
Also, I hope your brother can serve his tour well without getting hurt.
It's a well-known fact in these parts: bears hate squatters.
Bears are cute. That's all I have to say.
Aah, Gentle Ben wouldn't hurt a fly!
Sheiler
The pudding line added a certain layer of comedy I thought.
Dana
Did you ever see Grizzly Man? They dont even like squatters in tents.
Marco
For some reason I thought that was going to be a link to bearded guys chopping down trees.
Michael
But with the right CIA training he'd be a honed killing machine. .... I think I smell a screenplay coming on.
Great story. Love the pudding line. Reminds me that when they found Saddam Hussein in his underground hideout, there were Mars candy bar wrappers all over the place. At least, that’s what I read somewhere.
Best to your brother, Adrian.
On a different note, would you be willing to come to Microsoft to do a reading, Adrian? If so, what’s the protocol for this?
Holden
Yeah I read that too about Saddam. But then again who doesnt love a Mars Bar? Tasty caramel, thick chocolate - better than a snickers if you ask me.
I'd definitely come to Microsoft.
The protocol is this: you ask me to come to MS, I say yes, I go to Seattle.
Hey Holden,
I have a friend who works for Microsoft in Seattle. She's the reason why I went for a trip and also acquainted me with Top Pot. Do you know Pam R? Is that like asking someone in Chicago if she knows someone named Patricia A?
Cool story.
Anyone remember the SCTV spin on Grizzly Adams, where he had a pet turtle instead? Poor Griz broke his leg and sent the turtle for help. The turtle went on his way and returned with park rangers - but there was only a bearded skeleton left by the time they returned.:(
Sheiler, not an unreasonable question – people ask this and sometimes I actually do know the person. PamR sounds very familiar but I looked her up in our directory and don’t believe I’ve met her. She must have good taste, however, if she turned you on to Top Pot Donuts.
Adrian, I nominated you for our visiting speaker series. The vast majority of speakers have been writers of totally boring business books, but there have been some authors of fiction as well (for example, Neil Gaiman). It’s all booked up for this year but 2010 is wide-open. If selected, MS pays expenses (airfare, hotel, ground transportation) but there’s no honorarium. However, I’m sure we could set you up with some free software. I’ll let you know as soon as I hear anything.
Matt
I havent seen that one, but it sounds pretty damn funny.
Holden
I'd do it in a heartbeat. No way I'd be as funny or as interesting as Neil Gaiman though. I've seen him talk and he's the cat's pajamas.
Sheiler
Boston may not be able to compete in the donut stakes but have you been up to White Farms in Ipswich yet like I told you to?
I am pretty sure that this whole blog post was just a not so subtle dig at your brother for that whole 'balding' issue. Both Grizzly and, well, the grizzly have pretty full heads of hair, and then some.
Holde, if we didn't have enough evidence from reading, rumors from his No Alibis gigs is that Mr. McKinty is a pretty funny guy, so don't let him undersell himself. In fact, don't let him write any of the promo material at all. He'll fly anywhere, seemingly, but self-promotion is not his strong point.
That should have been "Holden"
Adrian,
I have not! Not yet anyway. I've spent a huge portion of my time, when not driving up and back to Montreal, on the south shore in Hull and Provincetown. I am homeless in the US, and so when friends offer me a couch, or a condo, I go for it. No one up north in MA has yet. But because I've been talking and dreaming about donuts I should do something about ye olde sweet tooth and get myself up to White Farms. Hopefully they're not closed for the fall/winter?
Holden,
I'll give you a clue. My friend refers to Cleveland Ohio as "Cleveburg". And she has begun referring to herself as Interpersonal Pam.
That's two clues.
If you are able to identify this particular MS worker bee, then, well, I'll go out and buy a lottery ticket. Or something.
Relevant to nothing else in the thread, Adrian, grats on the Yankees win.
Matt
I'm drunk and its 5.30 in the afternoon.
#42
Everyone will whine about the payroll but the Core 4 were pretty good draft choices werent they? 20 WS rings between them.
Seana
He may be the family badass but I definitely have more hair.
Sheiler
Good question. I think they are open in winter actually, but in case they aren't right next door to WF on Route 1A is the Rowley Pancake House who make pecan buttermilk pancakes to die for.
I dunno. Most men would suffer by comparison with these two hirsute companions, so it's all pretty relative.
I don't think I'd ever sit close enough to a grizzly to pose for a picture, though--Gentle Ben or no.
This is how and why I became a Yankees fan.
Washington Heights
Seana
Or with the guys in ZZ Top. Except the drummer of course - Jim Beard.
Nice article. I bet you wish you'd been there tonight.
Rejoice with the Yankees, because Liverpool's Champions League campaign will likely end at the group stage.
This banner (click to enlarge image) at yesterday's Champions League match is a good reason to be a fan of Fiorentina (even if the man in question notoriously supports Livorno).
Seana
I feel very close to the Dominicans, they're a lot like the Irish except that they have better food and weather.
Marco
Its not going to be Liverpool's year. That was a good result from Moscow though.
And probably baseball. I remember them in DIWMB.
Sheiler, I probably shouldn’t list her full name on the Internet, but I can’t NOT take you up on your challenge. Is she Pam Raphael?
Seana, thanks, I won’t let Mr. McKinty undersell himself. I totally agree about his sense of humor. I’ve laughed like a hyena while reading his books and this blog.
I’m including a link to the Bing search engine because it’s got a great picture of the Yankees today and if you move your mouse over the picture, little factoids pop up. The picture changes daily, so if you’re in a different part of the world, you may have to go back a day (click the little arrows on the right corner). As long as you're there, give the search engine a try – it’s actually quite good. Corporate drone OFF now.
The Bear Jew for Nazis, real bears for Al Qaeda. Strangely, Indian reports make no mention of pudding; I'm trying to figure out what the dish might have been; some kind of kheer would be my guess.
The separatists now say that army officers, not a wild animal, killed the militants. This seems unlikely, considering the medals and promotions tied to shooting armed separatists. It's more probable that the army would claim a militant kill though the job was actually done by a bear.
Girish
I agree, definite shades of Tarantino here.
I think the problem is the English word pudding - it can mean so many things.
And I think you're right far batter to blame the Indian Army than a bear especially when there are four of you and you are armed with AK 47's.
Holden
When I'm glad someone thinks I'm funny.
Seana
They were supposed to be quite sympathetic in DIWMB.
Yeah, I agree, the books are funny, though I'm coming to the end of The Dead Yard and no, not so much.
Before you completely end your corporate representative role, though, Holden, I really seriously and not sarcastically wish you would explain what Bing is trying to do and why it is different from other search engines. I am sort of getting that it is supposed to help in the decision making process, but I am so far not getting what that difference really is. I'd be as happy to use Bing as anything else, but I haven't heard what the advantage is in terms that speak to me. Don't mean to put you on the spot, but if you have some insight, feel free.
The Dominicans were sympathetic. I think what stood out, though, was the nuanced view of the immigrant community as a whole.
Unfortunately watching news footage from Fort Hood right now, so that kind of blanks out much else.
Holden,
Ding Ding Ding! You're absolutely correct. This means I have to go out and get a lottery ticket, right? Or have a seance? Or put my partner's hand in lukewarm water while she sleeps?
Reminded me of this.:
http://www.voytekbear.com/
Good old Polish bear, drinking beer and smoking tabs!
Yeah, I read about that Bing Yankees tribute. Hope not many Red Sox fans switched over from Google...
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