Wednesday, December 30, 2009

The Most Significant Event of the Decade - China's Rise

On December 29th in Urumqi, China, a mentally ill British national was executed (probably by lethal injection although the Chinese won't tell us) for smuggling heroin in a suitcase from Tajikistan. Akmal Shaikh, 53, and a father of three was convicted in a 2008 trial which lasted half an hour. During the proceedings the judges laughed at Mr. Shaikh's rambling attempt to explain the suitcase found in his possession and declared him guilty. A British national has not been executed in China since the Second World War, but despite pleas for clemency from British PM Gordon Brown and Foreign Secretary David Miliband the killing took place on time and in secret. According to the BBC "Mr Shaikh's family made continued calls for leniency right up until the execution deadline, citing his mental state, saying that he suffered from bipolar disorder. His daughter Leilla Horsnell said: "I am shocked and disappointed that the execution went ahead with no regards to my dad's mental health problems.""
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China knows that nowadays it can do whatever it wants, whenever it wants to whomever it wants. In a process that began in 2003 President Bush began borrowing huge sums of money from China (through US Treasuries) to fund his wars; FDR raised taxes to beat the Nazis, Bush borrowed from the Chinese. The process continued throughout the decade as the United States non military budget also soared. In the last year Obama's Keynesian recovery plan was financed not by raising taxes but by selling even more Treasury Bonds to China. China is now our bank and the one person you can never afford to piss off is the bank manager. China's GDP growth in this recession year was a measly 7.5 percent and this year she expanded her conventional and nuclear arsenal - China is a bank manager toting an AK-47 in one hand and a TOW anti-tank launcher in the other.
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Everything is now made in China: shoes, clothes, toys, kitchen equipment, tools, soon Volvo cars, not long after that, all other cars. The Chinese make everything, they work harder than everyone else, and there are 1.3 billion of them. This decade saw the Chinese began finally to flex their muscles protecting their heinous friends in such places as Iran, Zimbabwe, North Korea and Burma. If I were a third world dictator with, say, a big bauxite mine on my territory I'd cozy up to the Chinese too. This hegemonization process, is, I think, largely irreversible. America will not face up to the situation it is in: the Democrats won't cut entitlements or raise retirement ages, the Republicans won't raise taxes - the days of balanced budgets and paying down the debt are over. Europe and Japan are even more screwed as they age, become less productive, and increasingly irrelevant.
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I've been to China and I found it to be a rough and scary place. People who care about human rights or weep about the West's treatment of animals should certainly avoid going there; but the Chinese way is the way of the future - their recent accumulation of capital is almost unparalleled in history and shows no sign (thanks to Paul Krugman and the Afghan War) of slowing. The Sixteenth Century belonged to the Spanish. The Seventeenth and Eighteenth Centuries to the French. The 1800's was the era of the British Empire and the Twentieth Century was dominated by America. Hopefully India will rise too as it is more my sort of place but for the moment I think we are all living in the Chinese Century and we just haven't realised it yet.

Monday, December 28, 2009

Book of the Year

I read a lot of quality fiction this year from the likes of Garbhan Downey, Ken Bruen, Colum McCann, Hilary Mantel, AS Byatt, John McFetridge, Cormac McCarthy, Orhan Pamuk, Jonathan Lethem, Michael Chabon, Colin Bateman, Zadie Smith, Alan Glynn, Dec Burke, Gita Hariharan, Stu Neville et. al. but for me the novel I enjoyed most was Thomas Pynchon's Inherent Vice. At a party in July I had a bit of a friendly row about Inherent Vice with the crime reviewer of The Times; he felt that the book was disjointed and overly silly and not a proper crime novel but those were three of the reasons that I liked it. It is silly and its more of a riff on detective fiction than an attempt to fully engage the genre. Mainly though I liked the book because of its Big Lebowski vibe and the fact that its very funny. Chronologically it lies between The Crying of Lot 49 and Vineland and it sort of inhabits the same paranoid, druggy, conspiratorial, trippy, ascerbic universe. Here's a paragraph explaining why there are no blacks in Gordita Beach: "When a black family had actually tried to move into town [after the War] the citizens, with helpful advice from the Ku Klux Klan had burned their place to the ground and then as if some ancient curse had come into effect refused to allow another house ever to be built on the site. The lot stood empty until the town finally confiscated it and turned it into a park, where the youth of Gordita Beach by the laws of karmic adjustment were soon gathering at night to drink, dope, and f**k, depressing their parents though not property values particularly."
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I've already posted about Inherent Vice twice, here and here so that's probably enough for now.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Avatar is The Abyss, not Aliens

Don't believe the critics who tell you that Avatar is a great film: these guys are paid shills, corporate hacks, sell-outs and professional boosters for the film industry. Do believe me because I have no axe to grind, except maybe against James Cameron's beardy face. Avatar is a headache inducing bore of colossal proportions. The first four hours are like a really bad National Geographic special on New Guinea. We are supposed to be awe struck by 3 D digital plants and pseudo Native American blue aliens. The grumbling in my cinema started an hour in and then the grumbling became groans, a couple of walk outs, and then quite a few people in my row started taking their 3 D glasses off to give their eyeballs a break. The hours crawled by and it just went on and on with lines like: "I fell in love with the forest and then I fell in love with you." Ugh. Remember that cool bit in Titanic where the falling dude hits the propeller? - there isn't even a bit like that. To quote Michael Palin in the lion tamer sketch: its just dull, dull, deadly dull. The last act of the film is better but by this time my brain had forced me into a protective coma so I couldn't really appreciate it. I'll admit I was nervous about Avatar because of the extended trailer, but I liked T1, T2 and Aliens and expected a lot more of Cameron than a cheesy Thomas Covenant rip off. Yeah that's right I said Thomas Covenant rip off, namely Vol 2 The Ill Earth War. I have read everything! BTW whoever calls this film science fiction does not understand the concept of science fiction. This is a mid 80's era fantasy film, nothing more nothing less. The one consolation in the whole brain damaging mess is Sam Worthington who is clearly going to be the new Russell Crowe. If you havent seen Avatar, if I were you, I'd stick on Nickelodeon and watch Avatar: The Last Airbender instead - a kids cartoon with better dialogue, mythology and effects that wont give you a headache.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Albums of the Year

Some of these are from 2008 cos [start doing a Wallace & Gromit Yorkshire accent now] eee, I'm a bit slow on the uptake, like.

1. The Bird and Bee - Ray Guns Are Not Just The Future
2. The Ting Tings - We Started Nothing
3. Monsters of Folk - Monsters of Folk
4. Jay Z - The Blueprint #3
5. Beyonce - I Am Sasha Fierce
6. Them Crooked Vultures - Them Crooked Vultures
7. The Honey Brothers - Demonstration EP
8. Lily Allen - It's Not Me, It's You
9. Arctic Monkeys - Humbug
10. Yeah Yeah Yeahs - It's Blitz!

Friday, December 18, 2009

Most Overrated of the Decade

The defining art form of the twenty first century is marketing. We all know of people who are effectively content free but who have relentlessly marketed themselves into our consciousness. This trend has become more pronounced over the last 1o years and unfortunately we don't have Bill Hicks or Neil Postman around any more to mock the powerful engines of consumerism and their agents. But at least we can blog about it. Below is my list of people or things that I think were overrated in the world of arts and literature in the last decade. Unlike some bloggers I aint going for minor novelists, models and other soft targets. In reverse order of crapness then:

10. The New Yorker: Remember when they had James Thurber and E B White? Now they have Sasha Frere-Jones and "comedy" from Woody Allen.
9. The BBC: The high point came with the first series of The Office in 2001. Its all game shows, dancing and second rate Britcoms today. Sadly the BBC is now run by boarding school boys who think that that's what the plebian public wants.
8. Saturday Night Live: It was never funny but in the noughties it got even not funnier.
7. The Simpsons: Like the fall of The Byzantine Empire The Simpsons diminishes in size and totters towards irrelevance with every passing season. Where is Mehmed II when you need him?
6. The New Atheists: Dawkins, Hitchens, Dennett. It's real simple: 100 billion suns in our galaxy, 100 billion galaxies: trillions of Earth like worlds: if you don't think some powerful god-like being has evolved and is out there watching us you're just not using your imagination.
5. Martin Scorsese & Stephen Spielberg: A parade of dreary, piss poor films lacking any kind of spark, intelligence or invention. They seemed to have forgotten everything they knew about directing this decade. Please stop now gentlemen.
4. Quentin Tarantino & Wes Anderson: Tarantino made three of the best films of the 90's and in the noughties 3 of the worst of all time. Wes Anderson really needs to go get some life experience far far away from his hipster pals.
3. The Huffington Post: The Fox News of journalism.
2. Harry Potter: The Harry Potter novels were obviously some kind of mass delusion or hypnosis. They read now like campy 1950's children's books, filled with silly names, condescending plots and the prose of a wet Edinburgh phone book.
1. Bono: The most obnoxious man walking the planet Earth.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Steam Punk Chic

The first Steam Punk novel I read was The Difference Engine by William Gibson and Bruce Sterling. It was an early classic of the genre and envisaged a world in which Charles Babbage had got his Difference Engine beyond the theoretical stage: Victorian London sees the world's first steam powered mechanical computer and there's lots of fun and games with Lady Lovelace, Byron's daughter, Mary Shelley etc. Steam Punk is basically cyberpunk but set in an imagined technological past. Neal Stephenson writes a lot of these books and one of my favourites is Alan Moore's comic The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen Vol I and II (especially II). What I didn't know until today was the fact that you can buy Steam Punk clothing for men and women from The Steampunk Emporium , but of course it makes sense. If they sell Star Trek uniforms why not techno Victoriana? (I particularly liked the Emporium's gear for "Dewey Oldfield, the autoist" and "Barnaby Clifton the intrepid motorist.")
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When I was at Oxford I remember there was a lecturer who rode around on an old fashioned bicycle and dressed in Edwardian clothing. He was an amiable nut, but as we saw with the costumes of Daniel Craig and Nicole Kidman in the film version of The Golden Compass, Steam Punk kit is much, much cooler for tootling around the city of dreaming spires, tootling around anywhere in fact. BTW, I have no idea who the people are in the above pic but it's nice to see the sheilas getting into the spirit of the thing too.

Monday, December 14, 2009

Books For Christmas

The Guardian newspaper has picked my novel Fifty Grand as one of its books of the year and as a recommended book for Christmas (thank you Justine Jordan). Fifty Grand also got a nod as one of the books of the year by John O'Connell in the The New Statesman and I got a hat tip from Chris Mullin in The Observer. So far so good in Britain! but this is a novel which has struggled a bit in the US. The reasons for this are many: the bad economy didn't help; it also wasnt good that my editor left Holt two months before publication and that my replacement editor left two weeks before the pub day. Editors are crucially important in getting blurbs for books and getting them into the hands of reviewers. With 50G review copies were only sporadically sent out, were not followed up on, and there was no budget for publicity. I also think the subject matter may have been too controversial for some American reviewers. Still the success of Stuart Neville's Ghosts of Belfast shows you what a dedicated publishing house can do (it also helps that the book is f**king brilliant) and in the UK the success of Fifty Grand is all down to the hard work of Rebecca Gray, Anna-Marie Fitzgerald, Pete Ayrton et alia at Serpents Tail; and in Oz, Kate Hyde at Allen and Unwin. Word of mouth of course also helps and if you were one of the people who reviewed Fifty Grand on Amazon.com or Amazon.co.uk or Good Reads or Audible.com rest assured that I not only read your review but showed it around the family and probably sent it to my agent to prove that "some people like me". Thank you very much, I really appreciate it.
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Blurbs are important too and I'd like to thank Ken Bruen for being an early champion of Fifty Grand. Finally a word about the blogosphere. Because I didn't get reviews in the likes of The New York Times, The Washington Post etc. I was more dependent than ever this year on bloggers for their support, so a big thank you to Declan Burke, Gerard Brennan, Peter Rozovsky, Dana King, Brian Lindemuth, Seana Graham, Sandra Ruttan, Brian O'Rourke, Liam Hoyle, Dan Wagner, Jolie Jordan, John McFetridge and many others - without you I'd be up the bloody creek. Thank you guys and gals. If there are going to be Adrian McKinty crime novels in the future (something I'm thinking quite hard about right now) it will largely be down to your support. Go raibh maith agaibh.

Saturday, December 12, 2009

An Open Letter To Peter Jackson

Dear Mr Jackson, I'll come straight to the point, The Hobbit starts filming in six months and I want to be in it. I know that you've said that only New Zealanders will be considered as extras because of government restrictions and ok I'm a Mick but please hear me out. First of all I read The Hobbit in 1977 when I was about nine so I am no Johnnie come lately to this franchise and I've read the book at least three times since so I am familiar with the material. Second of all I played The Hobbit module in MERP many times (about six people on Earth will understand what this means). Third of all I played The Hobbit video game on the Sinclair Spectrum which was the slowest loading video game in the history of the world and required great patience and strength of character. Fourth of all although I own a copy of Karen Fonstad's Atlas of Middle Earth I promise I am not a nutter.
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Fifthly (and this is my most important argument) the mission to The Lonely Mountain was a joint enterprise which brought in Dwarves from all over Middle Earth. Dwarves came from The Iron Hills, The Blue Mountains etc. etc. and it would be a mistake if you gave them all the same Englishy actor accent which we saw a lot of in The Lord of the Rings. There should be important regional variations in the Dwarvish accents in the new films. Thorin of course could speak BBC English, but you should also have regional accents and dialects to show that these are Dwarves from all over the world. Now here's my point, although I've never actually acted in anything I think you should have a Belfast accent in there and I can do one. Here's an audio file of me on Radio New Zealand ! I can also do Gorbals Glasgow and a serviceable Brummie so please Mr Jackson (and of course Mr del Torro) think of the integrity of the story and give me a call. It doesn't have to be Balin or one of the glamour roles, Oin would be fine or even poor doomed Fili (er, spoiler alert). Also I can grow my own beard too which is more than you can say for Orlando Bloom.

Friday, December 11, 2009

My Best Fiend

With the permission of Werner Herzog, the entire documentary My Best Fiend has been posted on YouTube. Its a good introduction to Herzog and especially to his extraordinary work with the mercurial Klaus Kinski. Dont be put off by the first two minutes, the documentary is in English.

Monday, December 7, 2009

What I Think About When I Think About Running

What I think about is: when is this run going to be over, or, did that pregnant lady pushing the twin stroller really just go past me, or, how many times can I listen to John Fogerty singing "I wanna know, have you ever seen the rain?" without going completely insane. What Haruki Murakami thinks about is very different. He thinks about what running means as an endeavour, he thinks about the mechanics of movement, he thinks about how good looking the girls are in Cambridge, Mass. His book is called What I Talk About When I Talk About Running, but actually he hasn't talked about it much before this, which is odd because when you read WITAWITAR you see how important running is to him. Murakami is a Japanese novelist who routinely gets mentioned as a potential nobelist, but dont let that put you off. WITAWITAR is an arresting memoir about how Murakami's interest in jogging became an obsession with running marathons and ultra marathons. He says that he took as a model (as well as his title) Raymond Carver's What We Talk About When We Talk About Love, but the book to me is actually squarely in the Japanese tradition of poetic memoir and travelogue which goes back at least to Matsuo Basho whose Narrow Road to the Deep North is the all time classic of this trope. Both men are travellers, seekers of the way, searchers after truth.
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One of the best scenes in Murakami's book is a 60K ultamarathon in northern Japan where he bonks and entirely goes to pieces before getting passed by an octogenarian lady who cheerfully tells him not to give up. Turning misery into something funny or transcendent - into spiritual truth - is the artist's job. One of the best haiku in all of Basho is when he's ill and staying at a miserable inn in the arse end of nowhere:

bitten by fleas and lice
I slept in a bed
a horse pissing all the time
close to the window

All you can do is laugh, because it really isn't funny at all.

Friday, December 4, 2009

FIlms of the Decade

Following on from my books post last week, below I've listed my favourite films of the decade. I don't think it was a particularly good era for the movies. The Coens were off the boil, we no longer had Stanley Kubrick, some idiot reinvented torture porn and mindless blockbusters continued to dominate. Outside of Hollywood I think English and French art house films generally got overpraised out of sheer desperation (the Times puts the feeble Cache as their #1 film of the decade) and the explosion of Korean horror films didn't do much for me. Still, for what it's worth, these are my favourite films (not necessarily the best) of the noughties.

1. Mulholland Drive (2001) David Lynch
2. The Barbarian Invasions (2003) Denys Arcand
3. Grizzly Man (2005) Werner Herzog
4. In The Mood For Love (2000) Wong Kar Wai
5. Ghost Dog (2000) Jim Jarmusch
6. Shaun of the Dead (2004) Edgar Wright
7. Bloody Sunday (2002) Paul Greengrass.
8. Pan’s Labyrinth (2006) Guillermo del Toro
9. The Squid And The Whale (2005) Noah Baumbach
10. 24 Hour Party People (2002) Michael Winterbottom

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Wrong Desert, Good Analogy, Dubai is a Massive Pyramid Scheme

Last week Dubai World Corp attempted to reschedule some of its debt. Stock markets across the planet fell but initially many of the commentators I watched on the business channels told people not to panic, because "the economics of Dubai were fundamentally sound." I'm not sure that I agree with that. When you walk around the empty malls, empty bookshops, empty cinemas and empty restaurants in Dubai you wonder if this Emirate without any oil or other natural resources really represents the future of urban planning, architecture and civilization as we know it (which its leaders proclaim). Parts of Dubai are like a movie set or ghost town and just as many cranes are standing idle as working. By Monday it seemed that people were finally waking up to the reality in Dubai. I read an interesting summary of opinion about the Emirate's potential problems in the New York Times here and a rather more ballsy piece by Rod Liddle in The Times of London here. And I found this little article tucked away on CNN which wonders if the Dubai real estate market is and always was a gigantic pyramid scheme:
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London, England (CNN) -- For the past decade, Dubai has been home to the greatest concentration of cranes anywhere in the world as billions of tonnes of concrete, steel and glass have refashioned the city skyline. But the rapid growth of the past six years has slowed recently due to the global slump in property prices. Hopes of a recovery have now been further imperiled by the news that the state-owned Dubai World has requested to delay paying its massive debts by six months. Dubai has become a playground for architects as well as millionaires commissioning a string of audacious building projects aimed at helping reposition the city as the financial and cultural hub of the Middle East. Billions of dollars have been spent transforming the landscape, erecting buildings which continue to break records of all dimensions. The Burj Dubai -- at 818 meter the world's tallest skyscraper, the vast Palm Jumeirah -- built on land reclaimed from the sea, the Dubai Mall -- the largest shopping center in the world and the Mall of the Emirates; home to the world's biggest indoor ski slope form part of a very long list of completed construction projects. "The whole place is kind of like a time-lapse film. You wake up in the morning and it's just a little bit different," Jim Krane, author of "City of Gold: Dubai and the Dream of Capitalism" told CNN. But, according to Krane, some of these projects, like the Burj Dubai, suffer from a severe lack of practicality. "Dubai doesn't really need to have to build tall asides from prestige purposes. If you look at it, it's a really bad idea. It uses as much electricity as an entire city. And every time the toilet is flushed they've got to pump water half a mile into the sky," he said. The telescopic shape is also presents problems of a more practical nature Krane thinks. "The upper 30 or 40 floors are so tiny that they're useless, so they can't use them for anything else apart from storage. They've built a small, not so useful storage warehouse half a mile in the sky," he said.
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The CNN piece also mentions the $12 billion Palm Jumeirah where David Beckham has a home and "You can't even see the sea and all the fronds which house the communities are gated." And they conclude with the ridiculous sounding Palazzo Versace hotel in Dubai which is going to have a beach "featuring refrigerated sand."