In 2008 Iris Robinson, wife of Northern Ireland's First Minister Peter Robinson said that homosexuals were an "abomination" and "worse even than child molesters." She explained that as an MP and member of Northern Ireland's Assembly that it was her duty and the duty of all public servants to uphold God's law as exemplified by the 10 Commandments. (Not a big reader of Edmund Burke is Mrs R).
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Well we all knew what was going to happen next didn't we? Every single time one of those holier than thou uber-Pentecostal freaks starts blathering about gays and sodomy and God's law you just know that they are going to be found out as complete and utter twists trying desperately to weave a smokescreen. BBC Northern Ireland's excellent Spotlight programme discovered yesterday that Mrs Robinson had seduced a 19 year old graduate (well, a high school graduate) and had given him a wad of cash so he could open (only in Northern Ireland folks) a chip shop.
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Of course now under God's law poor Mrs Robinson will actually have to be stoned to death. Her husband and all the members of the Stalinist-Gothic Metropolitan Faith Cathedral in north Belfast will have to dig a hole and bung her in it and chuck rocks at her Iran-style. This hardly seems fair. She's an attractive woman and Northern Ireland could always do with another chip shop or two. And if Peter Robinson resigns and the Northern Ireland Assembly falls apart and Ulster tumbles into civil war because of this I for one am going to blame the BBC. . . for not showing Mike Nichols's edifying masterpiece The Graduate often enough.
And speaking of edifying...here's that creepy/foxy chick from Pomplamoose Music with a nice version of Simon and Garfunkel's Mrs Robinson. The lyrics were never more appropriate.
55 comments:
Thank you for giving me an excuse to dial up creepy/foxy Pomplamoose chick. My wife is beginning to think I'm obsessed.
This is why Paul Schrader is a genius IMHO. It's always the Travis Bickles of the world who are the most judgmental.
The other possibility is that she saw the movie one too many times. Once Iris married Mr. Robinson, she probably knew that one day she would be obliged to seek out an attractive young man and follow the script.
But the chip shop, that's all hers. That's beauty, that is.
I read at that chip shop! Well, it's more of a cafe, really. Quite a nice one too. And I met the graduate. Seemed a really nice guy, actually. I'm sure he's scundered by all this attention.
Cheers
gb
Interesting as well that The Daily Telegraph is reporting he's a Catholic. Lust clearly breaks down a life time of anomosity. Also interesting that this coincides with the revelations in the Adams family. The high moral ground of both churches and its political leaders crumbles. As you say, what a surprise.
We’re all hypocrites but there are far bigger ones than me and that makes me feel better about myself in my own petty way.
Reminds me of that waste of human flesh minister in Colorado Springs who preached anti-homosexuality and then was found to be hanging and doing drugs with a male escort in Denver. I just heard that he’s preaching again in Colorado Springs, from his house.
Rob
There's something about her that is very attractive and very disturbing at the same time. She doesnt blink much which is a bit odd but its more than that. I still think her baldy boyfriend is lucky to get her, but I'm also pretty sure she's going to burn his house down when they break up.
Brian
You speaketh the trutheth. Although in Travis's defence, back then Cybill Shepherd was muy calliente. I'd have been tempted to do something crazy to ipmress her too.
Seana
Its a possibility I'll grant you that, but not that likely in that household. I dont see them watching Sex and the City much either.
Brennan,
That, my friend, is brilliant!
I didnt feel like naming the young man even though most other media outlets are doing so. In a way he's an impressive figure. He's a teenager and somehow has an affair with the 59 year old Bible Thumping wife of NI's scary First Minister and gets her to pony up 50 grand for his establishment? Those are skills.
Also you should be on Radio Ulster giving your opinion about all this.
Anon
Across the sectarian divide. The Hollywood Ending a la Susan Sarandon would have had them running off together to run that chip shop in say Ibiza, but alas, it was not to be.
The Gerry Adams revelations are a lot less fun: his brother was a well known child molester, more or less protected by the family from the police.
So who does that leave us with running Northern Ireland? Martin McGuinness: thank God he's never done anything wrong.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. etc.
Holden
Ted Haggard, yes, I remember him. He kept telling us that Colorado Springs was a holy place (where George W Bush was born again) and that Denver was an evil town full of gays and druggies.
Of course it turned out he was going up to Denver for gay sex and amphetamines.
Nah you couldnt see that coming.
I just want to thank Brian for giving Paul Schrader the credit for Taxi Driver. It's so rare the writer gets mentioned.
Wasn't Schrader raised in a very conservative home? I seem to remember reading that somewhere, that he didn't see a movie until he was in his late teens?
John
Did you ever see Auto Focus? I thought it was pretty good. Certainly a good bit more entertaining than Hogan's Heroes.
No, I've never seen Auto Focus, but I remember liking Blue Collar (I was young and forgave that the auto workers were motived to pull the robbery because Richard Pryor's daughter needed braces when the UAW had full dental).
Hardcore wasn't as good as I'd hoped, but he set the bar pretty high with Taxi Driver.
John
Was that the last time Scorsese made a cameo? I dont recall many since.
It seems that the only people who remain amazed and distraught at hypocritical examples of sexual whoopsie-do-ism are media types who run the discourse in the english speaking world.
Everyone else, religious or not, knows that if someone with any kind of star power (you know, preacher with lots of fans, or politician or whatnot) says, strident and all chest thumpy, anything unfavorable about gays or divorce being too easy or something of that nature, anything that they want to be known for in this arena, everyone knows that this therefore means that they have some sexual predilection that they are hiding.
This has been established.
You could look it up under 'known facts'.
It's all just a matter of when it will be known.
As for that singer - weird. She has the most dull voice. I like the band's arrangements. But only so far as I am on a comfortable couch eating chips and watching the snow fall. I like them ok for now.
But they are relying on her face. And ok, so they are. Other bands have relied on worse things I guess.
I mean, did you hear Mary J Blige sing that inane song about who the hell cares on the latest celebrity tv show? I can't recall the name now of course because that would interfere with my rant.
sigh.
Was that the last time Scorsese made a cameo? I dont recall many since.
Isn't there a shot of him going into a restaurant or a club in The Sopranos? (which had some of the best cameos from people like Frank Sinatra Jr., and Lawrence Taylor)
I guess you can't call the interview scenes in The Last Waltz as a cameo.
Sheiler
She's strangely good looking or good lookingly strange. There are a lot of singers without the pipes to back up the looks but I like Miss Pomplamoose's voice. At least I think I do - it could be hypnosis.
Beyonce and Christina Arugula (sic) have voices though.
John
Oh yes and I forgot that in Curb Your Enthusiasm he also plays himself. Taxi Driver was I should have said his last "acting" job?
I heard a jury consultant say he excused a potential jurist if he could see the whites of the eyes above and below the eyelid. He said people like that are crazy (I’m paraphrasing) and used that zany Runaway Bride as an example. The Pomplamoose Music singer has that look.
That's above and below the iris, not the eyelid.
Holden
And that mad astronaut lady who wore the diapers and tried to kidnap her love rival also had that look.
And yet...the Pomplamoose girl is still very attractive in an indy chick Zooey Deschannel kind of way. As I say - far too good for that boyfriend of hers.
I'm surprised that jury consultants actually exist outside of John Grisham novels.
And the Pomplamoose girl does have some talent. I like their rendition of Nature Boy.
And La Vie en Rose.
Somehow I feel that Scorsese has made a cameo appearance in pretty much everything I've seen in the last ten years. Low profile he is not.
Oh, yeah and that's pretty cool about the Brennan/chip boy connection. Gerard, you really ought to be able to parley that into something, although apparently it's a little late for blackmail.
v word=ardsmshu, which is Cockney for "My footwear leaves a little to be desired."
Holden
I think in this video the Pomplamoose girl definitely goes over into boil-your-kid's-bunny-rabbit-on-the-stove territory.
Seana
Way to go Ger Brennan. He had the scoop of the year right under his very nose. And yes he still could get a short story or something out of it dont you think?
Scorsese did a great turn in Round Midnight... she'll just publicly repent and make some dosh out of it like Bakker, or whoever it was.A sinnereth that repenteth shall have a bigger bank balance.eth ...Good luck to the lad with the chippy though. Hope he milks this for every penny he can get.
With Gerard, it could be a short story that's developed into a play that then turns into a major motion picture. In fact, that's probably how it will go. I'm surprised Meryl Streep hasn't called him about it already.
Your post reminds me of this great open letter to Dr. Laura Schlessinger, which I came across in a tattoo magazine during a brief stint at a magazine distribution company. I laminated it and have it on my fridge to this day.
I like the letter to Dr. Laura, but what's also a lot of fun are the ads that Google generates for the page.
Paul
Yeseth thou are correcteth about the sinnereth repentingeth.
Seana
Speaking of Meryl Streep did you see that piece in The Huffington Post where Sharon Stone says that Meryl's more successful than her because "she has let herself go and looks like an umade bed".
Stone must really live in a hell of her own making.
HB
I love that!!
I also remeber that bit on the West Wing where President Bartlett tears DR L a new asshole
John
Er, yes. Those chaps at Google.
As Holden would say - we should all switch to Bing.
Seana
BTW Declan is back blogging.
There's a good summary of this story on The New York Times here.
I dont why they had to take a pot shot at "predictable bloggers" except maybe to cover their asses on being three days late on the frickin story and adding zero original content.
They did add a good picture of 'happier days', though.
It's funny, but that analysis of the way it could all come tumbling down--even though I saw it here first--reminds me of Alan Glynn's Winterland. For an American, who isn't all that familiar with European parliamentary dynamism, Glynn's book gives a good feel for how a government can be unseated by something exactly like this.
By the way, Martin Scorsese, commenting on Public Enemy, is on the television as I type. I tell you, he's everywhere!
Thanks for the heads up on Declan's return to the blogosphere. That makes me happy.
Bing Try it, you’ll like it.
Oops, sorry, try this, you’ll like it: Bing
Holden
I binged myself and a nice picture of me -could be a lot worse.
Holden
I binged myself and a nice picture of me -could be a lot worse.
That's nice, Adrian, but as I've mentioned to Holden before, 'binged' is problematic.
Off topic, I'm afraid, but I just realised I've awarded you a pink blog award, Adrian. I'm very sorry. Promise not to do it again.
Maybe.
Well thank you Miss Witch, I'm happy to get it. Pink by a vote of 3 to 1 is the favourite colour in this house.
Adrian, Seana - Radio Ulster haven't called me yet, but the short story / stage play / screenplay idea is a good one...
Wish I'd another reading lined up there for this week, though. Imagine the publicity!
gb
I don't know the, er, ins and outs of Northern Ireland politics these days, but I am reading "A Little White Death," a novel by John Lawton that includes a scandal reminiscent of the Profumo-Keeler affair. There is much talk about hypocrisy, private lives becoming public, and the naivete of toffs who think they can get away with anything.
That the peace process could be undone because a flaming hypocrite who couldn't keep her knickers on might make good fodder for Lawton if and when he brings his historical series about mid-twentieth century England into our own time.
My v-word: baremias, which, given the right pronunciation, could merit a a horse laugh.
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Detectives Beyond Borders
"Because Murder Is More Fun Away From Home"
http://detectivesbeyondborders.blogspot.com/
Peter
Its absolutely nuts isnt it? I would think that Garbhan is rubbing his hands together too.
Assuming this affair has the outcome for which you hold out hope, it could be fodder for Garbhan's next book, all right. One hopes it does not move into territory grimmer than he generally covers in his fiction.
================
Detectives Beyond Borders
"Because Murder Is More Fun Away From Home"
http://detectivesbeyondborders.blogspot.com/
Peter
If it leads to another 30 years of civil war thats going to be one costly fuck.
I have an idea for a book: Ten Lays That Shook the World.
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Detectives Beyond Borders
"Because Murder Is More Fun Away From Home"
http://detectivesbeyondborders.blogspot.com/
Nice. It just writes itself doesnt it.
At the very least you've got an entertaining blog post, if a little outside your purview.
I shall give you full credit when I put up that blog post.
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Detectives Beyond Borders
"Because Murder Is More Fun Away From Home"
http://detectivesbeyondborders.blogspot.com/
And here, for any latecomers, is the blog post in question.
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Detectives Beyond Borders
"Because Murder Is More Fun Away From Home"
http://www.detectivesbeyondborders.blogspot.com/
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