As Joni Mitchell pointed out a few years ago: "Don't it always seem to go, you don't know what you've lost till its gone." I used to listen to the Baseball Today podcast every morning in the car or on my bike, but since ESPN disappeared Peter Pascarelli (for daring to suggest that Commissar Bug Selig maybe doesn't deserve a statue in Milwaukee) the podcast has been just awful. Pascarelli was great because he used to tell the truth which almost never happens anywhere anymore. Now the show is basically Eric Karabell (who sounds like he's about 14) and his monosyllabic producer vamping desperately for 30 minutes before exhaustion kicks in and the show comes to a merciful end. Sometimes they have a guest on who is, say, an expert on the Texas Rangers and Karabell will spend fifteen minutes explaining how great it is to have on the beat writer for the Waco Sentinel and how wonderful it is to talk about the Rangers bullpen problems and you know that all the time he's wondering what it would be like to put a .38 in his mouth and go click. Now I know what you're thinking, you're thinking who the hell is Joni Mitchell? God Almighty. You want me to do all the work around here? Why don't you look her up on Wikipedia you bloody eejit. Or stick in big yellow taxi in YouTube or something. And no, my friend, not the Counting Crows version; I mean are you kidding me? A 46 year old white dude who's still sporting dreadlocks? Come on...Although somehow he seems to have pulled the wool over Emmy Rossum's eyes, which I just don't get because she seems very intelligent. According to her Wikipedia entry she sang Happy Birthday in twelve different keys to get into the Metropolitan Opera Children's Chorus. Can you imagine that audition? Happy Birthday is not a nice song to hear under any circumstances when it isn't actually your birthday, but to hear it 12 times in a row...She's very lucky she's good looking that's all I have to say. Also according to Wikipedia she has Celiac disease which means that she can't tolerate gluten but she does tolerate chubby white dudes with dreads who were famous for five minutes in the early nineties for being the anti Nirvana. Go figure, huh? Doc Brown was right in Back to the Future Part III, women are the real mystery.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Bring Back Pascarelli And, Er, Other Thoughts
As Joni Mitchell pointed out a few years ago: "Don't it always seem to go, you don't know what you've lost till its gone." I used to listen to the Baseball Today podcast every morning in the car or on my bike, but since ESPN disappeared Peter Pascarelli (for daring to suggest that Commissar Bug Selig maybe doesn't deserve a statue in Milwaukee) the podcast has been just awful. Pascarelli was great because he used to tell the truth which almost never happens anywhere anymore. Now the show is basically Eric Karabell (who sounds like he's about 14) and his monosyllabic producer vamping desperately for 30 minutes before exhaustion kicks in and the show comes to a merciful end. Sometimes they have a guest on who is, say, an expert on the Texas Rangers and Karabell will spend fifteen minutes explaining how great it is to have on the beat writer for the Waco Sentinel and how wonderful it is to talk about the Rangers bullpen problems and you know that all the time he's wondering what it would be like to put a .38 in his mouth and go click. Now I know what you're thinking, you're thinking who the hell is Joni Mitchell? God Almighty. You want me to do all the work around here? Why don't you look her up on Wikipedia you bloody eejit. Or stick in big yellow taxi in YouTube or something. And no, my friend, not the Counting Crows version; I mean are you kidding me? A 46 year old white dude who's still sporting dreadlocks? Come on...Although somehow he seems to have pulled the wool over Emmy Rossum's eyes, which I just don't get because she seems very intelligent. According to her Wikipedia entry she sang Happy Birthday in twelve different keys to get into the Metropolitan Opera Children's Chorus. Can you imagine that audition? Happy Birthday is not a nice song to hear under any circumstances when it isn't actually your birthday, but to hear it 12 times in a row...She's very lucky she's good looking that's all I have to say. Also according to Wikipedia she has Celiac disease which means that she can't tolerate gluten but she does tolerate chubby white dudes with dreads who were famous for five minutes in the early nineties for being the anti Nirvana. Go figure, huh? Doc Brown was right in Back to the Future Part III, women are the real mystery.
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35 comments:
Hmm. I think this was all just in aid of putting up Emmy Rossum's picture.
Can't speak to the sportscast, but I do know Joni Mitchell anyway. That's from my day. I liked her, but some of my friends were mad about her.
Speaking of dreadlocks, I wish Anne Lamott would just wear her dreadlocks and stop writing about them. She thinks people concentrate on her dreadlocks too much but as far as I can see, she’s the only one who makes a big thing about them. It’s very annoying. Her writing is OK but her obsession with her dreadlocks has ruined her for me.
A Yankees fan reported on their blog that they were listening to a recent ESPN Baseball today podcast and Karabell used the phrase "pahk your car." BUSTED KARABELL! How long did you try to hide your Red Sox ties!
I am worried about Pascarelli, though....I've been trying to find out what the heck he's been up to, and no luck. He deserves better.
Speaking of sports folks getting blackballed, Hank Azaria's recent creation, Jim Brockmire, was briefly yanked from Funny or Die but is now back up. Folks at SI blame MLB for the brief disappearance.
http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/7d1f3b33e7/gamechangers-ep-3-a-legend-in-the-booth-with-hank-azaria
I'm with you on Pasquarelli. He does excellent work, though I never listened to the podcast, just read him. ESPN has become the Evil Empire of sports broadcasting. (I can't bear to call them sports journalists, especially now that Peter Gammons has bailed.)
As for the rest of this, I don't know. You seem a little cranky today. It's okay if that's why you posted the picture of Emmy Rossum.
In an effort to avoid being a "bloody eegit"...http://www.lmgtfy.com/?q=Joni+Mitchell
A nice rant to start the day
I can't speak to the sportscast, but it is to laugh to suggest that some folks probably think ESPN is cool and alternative. About as cool and alternative as Apple, I'd say.
By the way, did you see that ESPN and PEN are sponsoring a new "PEN/ESPN Award for Literary Sports Writing"? Yes, literary is part of the title. Having inflicted Chris Berman on the world and acted as the personal publicity agent for so many sports celebrities, ESPN must now prove that it's intellectually serious.
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Detectives Beyond Borders
"Because Murder Is More Fun Away From Home"
http://detectivesbeyondborders.blogspot.com/
ESPN shows lacrosse games, once in a while, so I will watch then. I can't stand the whole nickname thing that Chris Berman started. I did like the "Booyeah" for a brief moment in time.
For me it's the Black Crowes, big time, NOT Counting Crowes. Never got into the Dave Matthews, Barenaked Ladies, Hootie fad. Rather despised it in fact.
I still break out my Bay City Rollers albums every once in a while. They were so, so cool back then.
Long Live Kurt, Layne, and Phil Lynott!
If your looking for a kick ass song, google "Effigy" by Uncle Tupelo, awesome take on the CCR song.
Did you feel better after that rant? Slightly out of breath, bit sweaty, but somehow calmer?
Seana
Well she is easy on the eyes. Dont know about that singing though.
Holden
I saw Anne Lamott once. I must have seen her from afar because I thought she had braids in. I now realise my error.
Matt
I dont know what happened to Pascarelli. I heard that he was still working for ESPN radio but I'm not sure about that. Maybe he's off on holiday writing his memoirs or something.
Matt
I dont know about that Bill Madden book on Steinbrenner. I heard him plugging that on Michael Kay and it didnt sound so fascinating.
Dana
Peter Gammons went to work in Boston, fair enough, but whats amazing to me is that now he's never spoken of on any of the ESPN networks. Its as if he was dead. Very silly.
Miss Snob
You know they put all the trees in a tree museum and then they charged people a buck and a half just to get in to see 'em.
And then they turned the tree museum into a movie called Silent Running with Bruce Dern that was pretty good.
Rob
Our feelings concur.
Peter
A journalists first duty I would have thought was to truth. Truth first, protect your sources second, protect the company third. ESPN seems to reverse that little list.
Sean
I see where you're coming from but you need a kindly uncle to tell you that you must never admit to liking the Bay City Rollers.
The Sex Pistols and Ramones yes. The BCR no. Doubtless the wheel of time will turn and the BCR will rise again but not yet.
David,
You'd so, but in fact not really. Maybe a brisk walk with the dog or something will help...
Peter
A journalists first duty I would have thought was to truth. Truth first, protect your sources second, protect the company third. ESPN seems to reverse that little list.
Are you talking about journalists, or are you talking about ESPN? Make up your mind.
A Yankees fan reported on their blog that they were listening to a recent ESPN Baseball today podcast and Karabell used the phrase "pahk your car."
At least ESPN still breaks ground in fresh, bold, original humor.
==========================
Detectives Beyond Borders
"Because Murder Is More Fun Away From Home"
http://www.detectivesbeyondborders.blogspot.com/
Well, some days are just like that. Have you ever noticed this really strange thing about clouds? Sometimes they're all bows and kind of flowing angel hair (no dreds!) and like, you know, floating castles made out of like, ice cream! Sweet! But most of the time they're so uncool and they just block the sun and kind of rain or snow on not just bad people but like everyone! I mean I've looked at them from a couple of angles, both sides, really, like when I'm in a plane and I'm on the runway, I'm sort of under them, but then you fly through them and you're above them, it turns out that they're not made out of ice cream at all, but more like mist. Funny thing, but the more I think about it, I really don't know clouds. At all.
Peter
Ok but they do employ sophisticated analysts like John Kruk, and er, oh dear...
Seana
Point well taken. Its unlikely to happen again.
Yeah, well I'm crabby too. The Twins lost to the Bitch Sox so there.
John
You got a new stadium, spring is here, there's a new Ridley Scott movie, come on, life is good...
Alas, feeling a bit like Bobby Brady when he learned the truth about Jesse James (not the Nazi one). I shall never listen to Davey Jones' solo album again.
Back in the day, a neighbor's four cousins visited from Scotland, and they milked the BCR's for all it was worth, especially with the girls in the hood.
Best crime song ever written:
"Daddy was a cop... (next line anyone?)
Why would you pay a buck fifty to see a bunch of trees....? That's just silly...
As for Silent Running...reminds me of a movie my kids liked for awhile, Wall-E.
Best crime song ever written:
"Daddy was a cop... (next line anyone?)
"On the south side of Chicago
Back in the USA
Bacl in the bad old days."
One of the two worst songs of my earliest readio-listening days and one of the worst ever inflicted on the public.
==========================
Detectives Beyond Borders
"Because Murder Is More Fun Away From Home"
http://www.detectivesbeyondborders.blogspot.com/
Peter R,
Let me take a stab at # 2...
"Billy Don't be Hero" ?
You're an effing mind reader. Have we discussed this before? Are you really my old friend Sammy posting under another name?
Hmm, or were Paperlace and Bo Donaldson and the Heywoods really two names for the same collection of musical vandals?
If I recorded songs like that, I'd want to change my name frequently, too.
==========================
Detectives Beyond Borders
"Because Murder Is More Fun Away From Home"
http://www.detectivesbeyondborders.blogspot.com/
I'm just a child of the Seventies man. Can picture my yellow twistable, or blue globe Panasonic radio now.
Everything changed when "Walk this Way" and "Ballroom Blitz" started getting airplay.
Wow, I just found out that “Billy, Don’t Be Hero,” a hit in North America by Bo Donaldson and the Heywoods, was a cover version and the song was written by the same germ-spreaders who wrote “The Night Chicago Died.”
The two worst songs of my youth, and two of the worst ever, composed by the same people. God, I hope they made enough money off those two that they could stop writing music.
================
Detectives Beyond Borders
"Because Murder Is More Fun Away From Home"
http://detectivesbeyondborders.blogspot.com/
I got one word wrong. Daddy was a cop on the east side of Chicago. The song is still shite, though.
==========================
Detectives Beyond Borders
"Because Murder Is More Fun Away From Home"
http://www.detectivesbeyondborders.blogspot.com/
Sean
Peter just made you famous over on his blog
Adrian, I saw that, and it was way cool of Pete. I rather enjoy, wallowing in obscurity, but now feel that I must get cracking on a new post that clearly touts my love, respect, and admiration for the C.O.S.
Need to speed read Dead Yard & Bloomsday Dead, to see if Forsythe is still with us, just in case I fall down an elevator shaft, or end up in a ditch on my drive to work.
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