In last week's Herald Sun I read that our new Prime Minister's partner Tim Mathieson is a patron of some kind of men's health initiative that involves giving each Australian male access to a "man shed" where he can potter around, read Top Gear Magazine and fix things. I wondered if the Herald was being satirical about this but apparently not. The man shed initiative is a desperate move and it's far too late. Men in the west are in big trouble. We weren't meant to sit at desks for 8 hours a day or live in little boxes or visit garden centres at the weekend. All of that is cripplingly bad both physically and spiritually. Basically I think that things have been going down hill for us since we gave up persistence hunting. For 50,000 generations we lived outside on the savannah in Tanzania and Kenya dodging lions and chasing gazelles until they couldn't run anymore. For the last 100 generations we've been living in squalid cities next to a bunch of friggin strangers with all their hang ups and bad music. Men don't hunt, don't hang out, don't really do anything anymore. We don't even fix cars - a traditional twentieth century standby when things got bad. And it's been getting worse. Camille Paglia in a slightly crazed, buckshot op/ed in the NYT last week came up with a few excellent points on this topic:In the discreet white-collar realm, men and women are interchangeable, doing the same, mind-based work. Physicality is suppressed; voices are lowered and gestures curtailed in sanitized office space. Men must neuter themselves, while ambitious women postpone procreation. Androgyny is bewitching in art, but in real life it can lead to stagnation and boredom, which no pill can cure. Meanwhile, family life has put middle-class men in a bind; they are simply cogs in a domestic machine commanded by women. Contemporary moms have become virtuoso super-managers of a complex operation focused on the care and transport of children. But it’s not so easy to snap over from Apollonian control to Dionysian delirium.
Nor are husbands offering much stimulation in the male display department: visually, American men remain perpetual boys, as shown by the bulky T-shirts, loose shorts and sneakers they wear from preschool through midlife. The sexes, which used to occupy intriguingly separate worlds, are suffering from over-familiarity...
Back to the cars. I walked by a broken down Range Rover this week. I looked under the hood with the owner but the engine was covered up by bits of plastic as if the mere thought of all those mechanical bits whirring around was somehow offensive. Sheds arent the answer. I dont know what is the answer (or even really what is the question) but I do know that we've gone beyond the shed solution.
91 comments:
Well, there's always war.
Seana
Yeah but what about the 99% of males who arent in the army or marines? Private wars are frowned on these days.
Look, a room or shed of one's own is what everyone needs. The need to have time to not be a cog, too. But to blame girly men and men being depressed in general - blaming it on women is par for the effing course with Camille Paglia. She's a twit with an overactive vocabulary.
Paglia spent the late 1980s / early 1990s artfully bemoaning the fact that she couldn't get laid by Marjorie Garber at Harvard by attacking English departments in elite universities, critical theory departments, which Marge Garber's girlfriend Barbara Johnson was a leading light in. She trashed women and lesbians in particular for being ugly when she herself was no prize.
Gay men of a certain ilk fawned all over her. TV journalists loved her daring-do, but were totally intimidated by her in the studio because she came off like someone ready to throw a punch at the drop of a hat. The body language on those shows, and she was everywhere for a time, was quite evident.
Perhaps I can appreciate some of her points because I love a good idea, but with her, I can do so only if I take up smoking and start pacing and stop washing.
Or something.
The trouble with a manshed is most guys would take their laptop in with them. What's needed is a Triumph Bonneville, a pup tent and three weeks paid leave.
Well said Adrian, but personally, I think it's brilliant. Will it solve the problem? I sincerely doubt it, but I don't know a husband alive that wouldn't love to have his own man shed. If not for the whole gun thing, it might be almost enough to make my husband want to move to Australia.
Sheiler
Points taken. However, I dont think she's blaming women for men's problems. She's blaming middle class morality which funnily enough is a bit like Eliza Doolittle's dustman father in My Fair Lady (and Pygmalion).
Did you ever read her book of poetry criticism: Break Blow Burn? It's really good.
Finally "no prize"? Come on. I think she's pretty good looking.
Mike
Yeah, you're right. Just like Raoul Moat.
Although the one time I did drive around Ireland with my motorcycle and my tent it did nothing but rain constantly and I went home even more depressed than when I left.
Glenna
Ok a consensus is emerging. I guess I'm wrong about the man sheds.
I'll take mine in a nice dark pine with a few paint tins lying around, some home brew bubbling in a corner and a couple of WW2 model planes hanging from the ceiling.
If Camille Paglia was only slightly crazed, then I'd say she's mellowing. Better her than Robert Bly, I suppose.
Damn, for some reason I hear the buzzing of vuvuzelas even when the television is off.
Peter
I think the lesson of this world cup is never never never bet against Paul the octopus
In an area of Toronto not far from where I live is a shopping mall that my friends have taken to calling "Man World". It has a Best Buy, Home Depot, Future Shop, Canadian Tire, Golf World, Sony Store and a liquor store(LCBO).
It's a consumer version of the man shed (or perhaps it's just a good example of why man sheds are becoming necessary).
No, If I'm reading this right, you're saying the problem is bigger than what a man shed could fix, and I think you're right there. It's like putting a band aid on a broken leg. But it might be a place to start, and if nothing else, it'll be fun.
As for the article, I think she has some very valid points. We don't need more pills to fix us, which seems to be the American way. Men need to feel like they can step up and be men, and women need to not be told that they have to be like men.
I'm gonna get off my soap box before I get started...
Well, if not war, then maybe rugby.
I think a careful reading here suggests that all men should take advantage of the opportunity to acquire a man shed and give them to their significant female others, even if those others are their sisters or their mothers. I would love a man shed. Although I think I'm actually kind of living in one at the moment.
Although I have to say that my mentor, Mary Holmes, thought Paglia had a lot going for her, I find her a combination of the worst aspects of Phyllis Schaffly and Christopher Hitchens. I'm glad some others here felt willing to take her on, as personally, I feel rather tired even reading her.
Adrian, maybe you and John McFetridge could just go on a long camping trip together. That might set you up.
I do think that your points about covering up the engine with those plastic covers is very well taken. I don't think women can possibly be responsible for the tidying up of the automotive world, though.
And I do have to say that although it may be coming, I find that the reign of men is at this point far from over.
I dunno, I associate plastic covers and plastic sheeting in general with torture. I must be reading too many Scottish and Northern Irish crime novels. At least the torturers are considerate enough to want to avoid messing the place up.
You can't read too many Northern Irish and Scottish crime novels, though, Peter. It's just not possible.
Adrian, someone on the Guardian's podcast tonight said the Paul the Octopus always pointed to the left.
And I almost burst me shite laughing when someone noted the astonishing accuracy of Sean Ingle's predictions and called him a human octopus.
Scott Murray, by the way, is easily the most unpleasant of the Guardian's podcasters. He calls Spanish soccer "ticky bullshita" and Brazilian soccer "jugo bullshito" and thinks he's being funny.
Yeah, but my flesh shouldn't creep every time I read about someone tied to a chair in the middle of a room whose floor is covered with plastic sheeting. I have to learn to get past it.
Get over it? Well, only if you see it in your future. Unfortunately, I'm starting to get images of this kind of thing happening in mansheds all over Australia.
I remember thinking back when I'd read an article by or about Paglia that she could think, but she couldn't write. The most satisfactory Paglia piece I read was a Q&A in which she supplied the A.
Left to her own devices, in her short pieces at least, she produced ungainly chunks of prose that were no more graceful than they were cogently or persuasively argued.
This bit of illiteracy from the page to which Adrian links is more revealing than the authors intend:
"... that aims mainly Aboriginal and Torres Straight Islander men..."
I refuse to take anything called a man shed seriously unless it's a gay dance club or the subject of an article in the Onion.
I posted that a little prematurely. I meant to add that the Q&A was the most satisfactory piece of Paglia I'd read because the questioner lent the piece coherence.
Left to her own devices, Paglia doesn't so much write as she spews unconnected chunks of thought. The Times piece is no different.
Again, this applies to her newspaper articles. Perhaps in her books she takes the trouble to develop ideas.
I will admit that Paglia hooks me in a bit, which I think is her intention. She and Hitchens are provocateurs, which I don't mind, exactly, as long as I don't feel like I have to submit to their point of view in the end.
I'm sorry for men if they feel they have little to do. It's never been my particular predicament, so I'd be glad to offer out suggestions if any of them are feeling particularly bored.
Paglia might be fun to chat with in a noisy bar. All I'm saying about her is that she can't write.
By the way, that snicker-inducing bit about Torres Straight Islander men was from the Man Shed page, not from Camille Paglia's op-ed piece.
Paglia is someone I would have no problem observing from afar. I just wouldn't want to have to engage.
And don't take this the wrong way guys, but "Man Shed" is certainly open to other accentuations.
"...and a couple of WW2 model planes hanging from the ceiling."
I like this shed decoration idea very much. Anyone know where you could pick up model kits for operational WW2 helicopters?
"...and a couple of WW2 model planes hanging from the ceiling."
I like this shed decoration idea very much. Anyone know where you could pick up model kits for operational WW2 helicopters?
I don't know, but I bet you could ask Clive James.
Nice one, Kurt.
I have actually been to a men's shed. The place was an OH&S nightmare: unguarded blades, stripped power cords, crushed plugs, a block-and-tackle on a quadpod with a missing pod. Heartened by this manly contempt for safety, I inquired about joining. The three men drinking tea from tin mugs looked me over and went around the corner for a while. One came back. 'Nah, mate,' he said. 'We're full. Come back in a coupla years.'
Anon
Yes that sounds like a Man Universe. There's probably a man shed shop if you look hard enough.
Glenna
I'm with you and Camille on this one and against everyone else apparently.
Peter
Well I havent listened to the most recent podcase (the post Spanish one) but I'm hoping Barry Glen's in it. I miss him. The octopus was reportedly wrong in 2008 but not since then. We all have an off day.
I like Camille P on the whole. Her problem seems to be a lack of focus. Instead of making 10 points in 800 words, how about 2 or at the most 3. Her poetry book didnt really give you a feeling for her longer thoughts because there were a lot of poems to be discussed. However her insights were good I felt, especially about the dark, perverse, erotic world of Emily Dickinson. (I kid, but only just).
Seana
By all means leap into the attack. I havent read enough of her to leap into the defence however. Just that poetry book which I liked and a few essays. I dont think she has the high seriousness of Susan Sontag but I may be wrong.
Peter
Yes when they call it the Torres Straight you wonder why they are getting any government money. And if they are getting government money where the hell is my shed?
Kurt
Nice call back. Very nice indeed. Man, you have some kind of memory.
Jake
It's the price. They aint cheap. My mate Michael Hau's man shed cost 7 grand. It is however a VERY nice shed.
Cooking can satisfy some men's instinct to wrestle with raw materials. But even the longest-simmered beef ragout cannot satisfy fully because you didn't fix it: you made it.
And you cannot fix bad meat dishes.
And only fixing things satisfies the dark matter of the male brain.
Break/wear out/fix
I refuse to take anything called a man shed seriously unless it's a gay dance club
Why, Peter, how did you know about my newest enterprise? It's a really classy joint where you can relax, have a few beers, or pass the time doing a bit of cooking, interior decorating, or a little "Home Improvement" work Tim Allen style.
By the way, the Germans are asking for Octopus Paul to be chopped down, cooked and served.
The sad fate of prophets!
I haven't read enough Paglia to attack her either.That's because every single word I've read of hers rubs me precisely the wrong way. Again, like Hitchens.
Marco, you should probably trademark the Man Shed and start a gay club franchise.
It's funny, but the idea that men like to fix things is not one that I hear mentioned by many wives. Sadly, it's rather the reverse.
I guess I have to go back and read that whole thing about the octopus because I don't know what you guys are talking about.
Seana, the husbands I know like to fix things, they just often lack the motivation to actually do it...maybe a man shed with plastic sheeting and chair in the center of the room might help though. "get it done or else..."
Seana, this article will serve as a primer on Paul, the prognosticating octopus. And now me and Paul and the boys are going out to the man shed to fix some soccer matches.
Adrian, Barry Glendenning has not been on the past few days. And, to be fair, I think it was Scott Murray who had a good line about Jurgen Low yesterday, though only as a followup to a dose of his annoying bitterness.
You diagnose Camille Paglia's writing problems well. She is incapable of focusing -- lethal in a short piece.
And the $7,000 price tag says what has to be said about man sheds, doesn't it? Sure, humans, men in particular, may have been in deep shit since the Neolithic, but $7,000 for a clubhouse to cast off the strictures placed on men by middle-class life? Who but a member of the middle class with time on his hands and a eye on the main chance would think of such a thing?
(I am a lifelong member of that class, by the way, so I am familiar with its ways. When I decide to get back 0to that rough idyll that existed before some schmuck in Anatolia discovered agriculture, I sure as hell am not going to pay thousands of dollars or join a club with a waiting list to do it.)
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Detectives Beyond Borders
"Because Murder Is More Fun Away From Home"
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My brother in Carrickfergus has just got himself an allotment plot - and every one of these plots has its own garden shed. It's over a mile from his house, and he has a bigger garden at home. What is this all about? He spends most of his day there (presumably in the shed when it's raining)and knows his fellow plotters better than his neighbours. When will Carrick council realize they don't need to let out plots of land - just a shanty town of man-sheds?
From that octopus article:
"Spain's victory over Germany in the World Cup last night will come have no surprise ... "
The Guardian apparently has no sub-editors/copy editors, either.
Philip, light bulbs just went on over the heads of a thousand unscruplous slumlords. They'll start shoving the tenants out the door of those cheap shacks and, without lifting a finger for the slightest hint of repairs, convert them into expensive man sheds.
See, the thing is that the emasculating power of money has robbed men of their natural connection to the earth and to each other. The man-shed movement is an ideal way to relieve them of some of that money.
Man sheds only make you feel sad and depressed !
Glenna, as far as fixing things goes, perhaps the joy is morein the purchasing of tools and other forms of happy anticipation of 'getting around to it'.
Lucius
Cooking's gone, but gone are the days when most problems could be fixed by a gazelle femur.
Marco
Man Shed as a gay night club sounds so Buffy The Vampire Slayer. I'd avoid if I were you.
If the Germans are going to kill he needs to be rescued by Sea Shepherd commandoes.
Glenna
I used to love to fix my motorcycle. But the difference between cars and motorcycles is that motorcycles are very simple. Cars are so complex that they are beyond most people. Electric cars that saviour of western civilization will not be able to be fixed by the general public.
Seana
Yeah there's the tool thing. I also think people have a Unabomber fantasy about living off the grid and being self sufficient. Except without the whole mail bomb thing.
Peter
I like that Uruguayan guy they have on with the cockney accent. Thats pretty funny. I also like the cheeky Liverpudlian. By the way you must always use the words "cheeky" and "Liverpudlian" together like that just as you must always describe Gong Li as the "beautiful Gong Li".
Peter
Even if you dont think she's particularly beautiful.
Philip
The flaw in your plan is this "when Carrick Council realize". That assumes that they have some kind of connection to an external reality and can be influenced by logic - two traits I have never witnessed.
from the NYT:
The aquarium tried to dampen expectations [picking Sunday's winner] by stressing that Paul is a “Germany expert” and so, may not have the magic touch when it comes to choosing between two other nations.
The spokesman for another animal with a growing reputation for soccer punditry, a parrot in Singapore named Mani — who has worked as a fortuneteller’s assistant for years — was far more confident about his associate’s abilities.
Speaking to a Reuters crew that visited Singapore’s Little India district on Thursday to film Mani’s prediction of Sunday’s World Cup final, Mani’s handler assured the news agency, “I believe 100 percent, whatever he picks will be right.” Mani, who normally helps customers predict the course of their romantic and financial lives, then stepped before the camera and turned over a card with the Dutch flag on it.
Octopi are pretty smart, though. I once saw a show about an aquarium which couldn't understand what was killing their fish in the night. Finally they put in an infrared camera. It turned out that an octopus was slipping out of its tank, making it's way across the floor, climbing into the other tank, having a delicious fish dinner and then taking the same route home again.
I have a feeling those Argentines may live to regret threatening Paul. Or, uh, not live to regret it. If you hear of any mysterious Argentine deaths, especially near water, it would probably be good to let the authorities know what you've learned here.
It turned out that an octopus was slipping out of its tank, making it's way across the floor, climbing into the other tank, having a delicious fish dinner and then taking the same route home again.
I think someone is yanking your tentacles on this one. I doubt that even the brightest cephalopod would have known enough to wipe up the trail of water from its tank to the fish tank.
Actually, no. They (I think it was on Nova) provided the video. Water on the floor just indicates splashing. It's not like fingerprints. That's why they didn't catch the culprit red-tentacled--at first.
Paul just made it on to the Keith Olbermann show. They did a parody (I think, but then I can be naive that way) about Paul predicting which team Lebron James will end up choosing.
Is it wrong that I'm starting to fall in love with Paul? Savvy, famous, and if he plays his cards right, he could make a lot of clams. I know some would say that's shallow, but you know, with an octopus, it's got to be kind of deep. I think it goes with the territory.
Well, maybe. But I'd still my octopus tanks well apart from my fish tanks. Splashes can go only so far.
Adrian, yeah, the Uruguayan makes the Cockney accent bearable. It's the T-glottalisation that drive me nuts about Cockney speech, the use of the glottal stop as an allophone of /t/ in various positions. But then, you knew that.
I have trouble enjoying "His shot from the spot was their ticket to a spot in the next round" unless the speaker has an especially novel or alluring voice. Like the Uruguayan guy's. Or Amy Lawrence's.
Gong Li is "the beautiful." Since I work for a newspaper, I am familiar with epithets like this for public figures. Unfortunately, none come to mind at the moment.
Sad but true Adrian, I don't know much about the electric cars, but it stands to reason that the more electric parts on a car, the more complicated it'll be to fix. And it's a shame too since having a guy that can fix the car is pretty handy. I wonder if they made car fixing tools more accessible and cheaper if more guys would learn to fix cars, since one of the easiest ways to get the guys I know to fix something is to send them to Home Depot with the credit card. Of course, that's also dangerous, but what's life without a little risk?
Peter
Well according to the latest GWC podcast Sean Ingle is even more accurate than the octopus. Impressive.
So, the octopus chose Spain, the parrot and the mckinty the Netherlands. Someone is going to lose face...
Marco
I have a feeling the octopus is correct, however I hope he isn't.
Of course it should be a classic encounter. Everyone remembers the sixteenth century wars of Dutch liberation from the evil Spanish yoke.
I think Paul is just a little bit above all that face losing stuff, maybe because he doesn't have much of a face to begin with.
I should remember the Dutch liberation from the evil Spanish yoke as I read that era of Barzun's book not so long ago. He doesn't seem to spend a lot of time thinking about the Dutch plight in this instance, though.
Seana
I read a great thing about Barzun last week. As a child he was sent to his grandmother to speak "proper" French. Now she had been born in the 1840's but had learned to speak in the manner of a generation before, i.e. the 1820's which is what she taught young Jacques. And of course the great thing is that Jacques is still alive today and a living link back to the 1820's which I think is pretty cool.
That is pretty cool. Barzun is pretty cool in general, though. I love the way he demolishes all kinds of misconceptions without really even raising his voice.
I know you guys really want to just talk about the World Cup, though. So here's the Slate piece on why all soccer fans should root for the Dutch to lose to Spain
I guess it wasn't too great that half of the men in North American sitting around watching last night's episode of 'The LeBronchelor'.
Then again, I'm sitting around all day waiting to hear if the Yankees are getting Cliff Lee so who am I to talk.
Oh, yes, the ghost of William the Silent will be yelling his head off in this rematch of the Eighty Years War.
Here is the scene the last time the Dutch and Spanish shook hands after a Dutch victory.
Seana, the book cited in the article to which you linked above, Brilliant Orange, is the book on Dutch soccer that I mentioned recently.
Seana
That Slate piece made me annoyed. His analysis of the history is completely correct and I've loved that Dutch team in the late 70's. However football is not about playing beautifully and losing. Football is NOT like rugby where (I've seen this happen) the home fans start cheering for the opposition if they are playing more stylishly. In football any 1.0victory is better than a 6.5 defeat. Winning esp at internationl level is all that matters. The Slate guy is clearly off his head if he can say that he loves the Dutch but will root for the Spanish because they play a prettier brand of soccer. Thats not a true fan.
Peter
Nice work. Didnt see any vuvuzellas though.
Peter
Nice work. Didnt see any vuvuzellas though.
Matt
Terrible trade. Lee's ERA at the new Yankee stadium will soar. The current 5 man rotation is the best (or maybe second best) in baseball.
Matt
Ok, now I see that he's going to the Texas Rangers who if I remember are in bankruptcy protection. Good move, trade your young prospects for a guy who'll post a 3.00 ERA for three months and then leave. I'm glad the Yankees will be subsidising these clowns again next year.
Yeah, that Slate piece overaesthetized the sport, didn't it? The author may have been a bit to keen to show what exquisite sensibilities he had.
To tell you the truth, I only read the beginning of that Slate article. I was pretty sure it would annoy someone, and of course I'd be surprised if anyone who had, say, money on the Dutch would be pleased by it. Frankly, I don't see why anyone would switch team allegiances at this point in the contest.
I don't quite see why style can trump scoring in rugby but not in football though.
Seana
Because football's important and rugby isnt.
Peter
It's like asking a Red Sox fan to switch to the Mets because they play a lovely game of small ball. It's completely crazy. He's read a few books about football but obviously he doesnt understand it.
I was pretty sure it would annoy someone
Seana, you know your audience.
Frankly, I don't see why anyone would switch team allegiances at this point in the contest.
He had no real allegiances to switch. That conclusion was a great, big rhetorical flourish.
It's like asking a Red Sox fan to switch to the Mets because they play a lovely game of small ball. It's completely crazy. He's read a few books about football but obviously he doesnt understand it.
Or maybe he's just a part of that phenomenon that has seen writers and commentators take an elevated approach to sports -- George Will and so on.
His conclusion, withheld until the last moment for dramatic effect, rang false, but the premise was right. The Beautiful Game and Total Football ahve haunted the imaginations of commentators, if not players, for years.
It's funny to think about fans switching sides in the context of Lebron James. Normally, of course, I would not be thinking about Lebron James, but if you watched any national news this week it was impossible to avoid it.
The most interesting part to me was to understand that whole urban industries have sprung up around the guy and so it's not just about loyalty but vested economic interest.
Wait--that was supposed to be funny? I guess now I'm going to have go back and rethink everything. Everything. Are you sure it wasn't just the German translator who kind of funnied it up a little? Because German translators are pretty much known for their hilarity.
Shoot--double posting and I'm not really even on the right post. Sure sign it's time to hit the hay.
There can never be too much about the man shed. The same cannot be said about Camille Paglia.
I doubt that it's just me that would be interested, but if people are following your blog through or seeing it in their blog role this won't pop to the top.
Pique over blogger is rampant right now. I'm predicting a mass exodus to wordpress. I'm probably too lazy to take that final step, but I haven't had the same problems that others have.
I saw this thread dated Monday, June 20, 2011 and was briefly panicked thinking I missed a day of work
Chasing lions and gazelles is a bummer. Can't we just order out? ======================
Detectives Beyond Borders
"Because Murder Is More Fun Away From Home"
http://www.detectivesbeyondborders.blogspot.com/
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