For many evangelical Christians May 21 2011 was the date of The Rapture, the end of the world, when Jesus would return and earthquakes would devastate the planet and there would be gnashing of teeth and angels with pointy sticks would punish the unbelievers. Alas, as you can see from the date of this blog post, it is now May 22 in Australia, and we're all still here...Sorry guys, I guess you feel a bit foolish. It's ok. This Peter Cook sketch from one of the Amnesty Concerts will make you feel better:
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24 comments:
Adrian, it is happening at 6 PM Pacific Time, so none of us have escaped yet.
I would watch the sketch, but must now return to prayer and bible reading, and whatever other last minute trick I can think up.
I'd watch, too, but I'm busy spreading lamb's blood in the doorways. As the guy who sold it to me said, I put that shit on everything.
Seana
I'm sorry but here's no way the Rapture or any other major event is going to begin on Pacific Time.
John
As I've tried to explain to all my evangelical friends everybody is safe at least until after part 2 of The Hobbit comes out.
What really sucks is that I have to work a full work day and THEN be raptured.
Also, this is really going to cut into my prayer time.
Aw-shucks! I've told everyone in my life what I really think of them, assuming with the sound knowledge that it wouldnt matter after today. Plus ive blown all my money on male escorts and chocolate.
Actually, it was scheduled for 6 p.m. Eastern time, and no, it didn't happen. At least I'm still here.
Seana
I liked the guy who was offering a post rapture pet care service with a deposit and no refunds if the rapture didnt happen. Thats American entrepreneurship at its finest.
Frankie
I dont know about the escorts but money spent on chocolate is never wasted. Esp a nice Belgian chocolate Belgian beer combo, I suppose you could throw in Van Damme and have a trifecta.
Peter
I'm worried that I'll be Raptured against my will. I'm very saintly in life but I think it might be more interesting on post apocalyptic Earth.
Adrian, if you're still here, you're going nowhere.
I was having coffee and a bagel late this afternoon at my local. "Do you want me to settle up now?" I asked, "because the Rapture starts in seven minutes."
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Detectives Beyond Borders
"Because Murder Is More Fun Away From Home"
http://www.detectivesbeyondborders.blogspot.com/
6:35 and I'm still here. Of course, I'm at home now, so I don't know for sure that anybody else is.
My landlady just walked past my window to adjust the sprinkler, so I guess she didn't make it either.
Post-apocalyptic earth will make for some good crime fiction, but I assume we'll all be too busy trying to survive to read.
Clarify what you mean by home, please. Is it the home the good lord called you to, or did you go back to your apartment?
I forgot to mention that I figured out what the miscalculation was. People started hearing that we were in the Last Days, and didn't realize that what was really meant was the Last Days of the Oprah Winfrey Show.
Sure it's the end of the world for many, but it's not quite the same thing.
I bet the guy made you pay him anyway, didn't he, Peter?
The slatternly home, not the heavenly one.
Come to think of it, though, I was pretty rapturous in my praise of Daniel Woodrell earlier today. Does he sell well down you way, Seana? This omnibus from Mulholland Books that I'm reading is pretty new, out just this month, I think.
That old slatternly home!
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Detectives Beyond Borders
"Because Murder Is More Fun Away From Home"
http://www.detectivesbeyondborders.blogspot.com/
Yep, I paid for what could have been the last glass of coffee that was place was ever going to serve up in this world.
I don't know if people have quite caught on to the combo book yet. I grabbed up the galley, but haven't gotten to it yet.
It's worth reading, and it's a nice marketing stroke by Mulholland, a good introduction to an awesomely talented author at a good price. Mulholland seems to have some good marketing and distribution punch behind it.
Peter, Seana
Nice story from the LA Times about the post rapture reaction.
Although since Camping hasnt come out of his house yet, he could just live in the basement and his wife could claim that in fact he was the only one who was pure enough to be Raptured. Thats what I'd do. Six months down there might enough and then he could return saying that he had been to heaven and write a book about his experiences.
You know, I have to say that thinking some day might actually be the end of the world isn't really such a horrible thing. I liked the guy who took his family on a road trip and saw the Grand Canyon because of it, and didn't have any hard feelings.
We were joking around a bit about it at work today, but I did think that if it somehow turned out to be true, there were worse ways to go than sitting at the Greek Food Festival, which is what I happened to be doing at the time.
Although you were skeptical about the Pacific time zone as the critical zone, I thought it would be just my fate if God decided to rapture the Californians as an example to everyone else.
If I was God, that's pretty much what I'd do.
Although being a Californian, I would just rapture everyone and work out the fine print later.
Well, I don't have much of a mind for last things, but there would have been worse ways to go that with the good taste of whitefish salad and the tang of onion and fresh tomato on my lips.
==========================
Detectives Beyond Borders
"Because Murder Is More Fun Away From Home"
http://www.detectivesbeyondborders.blogspot.com/
Rachel Maddow had my favorite idea. Apparently Lawrence O'Donnell, who hosts another MSNBC show, the Last Word, had been diligently tracking these eschatologists. So she and her staff tracked down a cocktail, originally out of Detroit, named the Last Word.
Equal parts Gin, Lime Juice, green Chartreuse and Maraschino liqueur shaken with ice.
I should have toasted the endtime with this, but I forgot to get adequate supplies in...
Maybe that drink ought to be served only at last call.
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