Monday, October 17, 2011

Beard Or No Beard?

Next week my German publishers Suhrkamp are sending a photographer out to St Kilda to take a photo of me for the German version of Falling Glass. The problem with this is that I've been growing a beard since early September, or as I like to put it, since early September I have been liberated from the tyranny of shaving. The photograph they take is going to be on the book jacket forever and probably on all the German versions of my novels for all time. So the question is simple. Beard or no beard? At chez McKinty we are a house divided. My wife is not keen on the face fluff but my kids like it and I like not having to scrape my chin every day. The readers of this blog have already displayed their good sense and taste by coming here in the first place so I'd really appreciate your thoughts. ZZ Top or Justin Bieber? 

70 comments:

HARDBARNED said...

ZZ Top all the way, man. As part of the few, the proud, the bearded, I say go for it. Shaving sucks. Then again, it's good to keep Mrs. McKinty happy. I'm lucky that Mrs. HB digs mine, as in the last two years I've shifted to a year-round beard.

When is COLD COLD coming to the US? Can't wait.

Cary Watson said...

Keep the beard, lose the head hair: you'll look like a complete badass. Other crime fiction writers will cower and surrender the field to you. You may be offered a significant role in the next Die Hard movie.

seana said...

Marco would approve. I'm with Professor Garrett.

However, on the plus side, it does make you look like a German scholar, which can only be a good thing in this case. Also makes the non-smiling thing work better for you.

On the whole, keep it for the Germans, shave it off for the French.

Dan said...

Hmm..an interesting debate obviously has ensued and a number of schools of thought promote or decry the hirsuteness or smoothness of the male (and sometimes female) face. Does one go or forgo the sideburns, chinstrap garibaldi, goatee, soulpatch or Lemmy to name a few 'styles'?
Personally I'm a proud sideburner and wear them with pride; the flecks of grey indicating my worldliness and wisdom.
Anyway this is not about me...may I suggest going the Fu? Shave the head as Cary suggests but take it one step further....upsweep the brows and grow long evil fingernails. People will think 'omigod..he da business!!'.
It may take a while for the cheese 'n kisses to accept your new look though.....
Good luck with the shoot!

Paul D. Brazill said...

You know when a 'tough guy actor' gets serious by playing a shrink or a lawyer? No, I can't think of an example either but that's what it looks like.

When I went to the Futurama music festival in Leeds in '79 I was really looking forward to seeing the band ClockDVA. But when I saw that the clarinet player had a beard I ran, ran ...

I had a beard once, because I couldn't be arsed shaving, and was told I looked like Rolf Harris.

seana said...

Don't do the shoot in your bathrobe, which ever way you go.

A pipe might be nice.

Anonymous said...

How about Buffalo Bill - that's a compromise

James Braund said...

Shaved head, no mo and leave the beard. Mrs M will embrace the new look.

Frankie said...

Shave it off. The pictures last forever but the beardyness could be just a whim and you might regret it.That is my opinion.

Anonymous said...

Off with the beard!

Peter Rozovsky said...

How about bearded in Saxony and clean-shaven in North Rhine-Westphalia?
======================
Detectives Beyond Borders
"Because Murder Is More Fun Away From Home"
http://www.detectivesbeyondborders.blogspot.com/

Sheiler said...

I have to agree with Seana...you look serious and German-like with the beard. And the lack of a smile. Might do you well to sell some books.

Also since your wife doesn't fancy the facial hair, you'll probably spend a large chunk of the rest of your life clean shaven. Having a pic of you in full fur regalia will remind you of a different time. I say keep the beard for the Germans. Lose it after the shoot. For the love of the French... and also your wife.

adrian mckinty said...

HB

We beardies are a proud minority. All that pressure from the Gillette Industrial complex.

Cold Cold may never come out in America. No one wanted Falling Glass in the US. Its a shame because I think its one of my most interesting and best.

adrian mckinty said...

Cary

I did think about getting a number 2 when I got my hair cut last week. Instead I went withe the number 4.

adrian mckinty said...

Seana

The wife went from skeptical to not keen to not keen at all, so I may have to cave in the end.

adrian mckinty said...

Dan

The seventies were a great time for sideburns, both the 1970s and the 1870s. I've tried to pull off the sideburns look but it just doesnt work.

I have had a goatee before and I loved sitting there stroking it but I very much became Mr Goatee Man.

adrian mckinty said...

Paul

A clarinet player with a beard does sound intimidating.

However doesnt Jethro Tull have a bearded flute player?

adrian mckinty said...

Anon

I DO like that look. But my hair wont grow long.

adrian mckinty said...

James

Well you're the boss.

The no mo has an Amish/Mennonite vibe that might go down well in Germany.

adrian mckinty said...

Frankie

Some of my passport photos have certainly come back to haunt me. Big seventies hair is not a good look on anyone these days.

adrian mckinty said...

Anon

If you say so. I'm sure it will come off eventually. But when? A week from now. Or fifteen years from now when its all Terry Pratchett.

adrian mckinty said...

Peter

And a nice square moustache in Bavaria.

adrian mckinty said...

Sheiler

And Seana could be on to something with the pipe, especially if I'm pointing it aggressively at arcane writing on a blackboard or something.

seana said...

It's a shame you don't get quite the same turnout for Irish poem of the month posts.

You're wrong about 70s hair, though. It's back! Or at least it was back here a few years ago. Maybe it's left again.

Of course, in Santa Cruz it's quite possible it never really left.

adrian mckinty said...

Seana

Sign of the times aint it? Beards get people worked up. Poetry not so much.

And seriously check out the Vince Gilligan podcast about breaking bad e 13. Its pretty great.

seana said...

I actually have had the podcast ready to listen to all day because I thought it would entice me to do some cleaning. So far not cleaning is winning, though.

Frankie said...

Revised advice. Grade 4 and two days stubble. That's the look to go for. It would afford continuity with your previous pictures in jackets. I would comment on poems but I don't know what to say about poetry or art. I feel nothing as I am pretty soul less.

Anonymous said...

Go with the beard. Akin to what another commentor said, in the future you'll crack this book open, scope the author pic, and say to the presently not-so-keen wife, "Look, hon, that's when I my blog-followers told me to keep the beard for my photo shoot."

If you go clean-shaven, you might not remember you had this little debate with yourself and the fam. And that chance for nostalgia will be lost.

-Brian O

seana said...

Frankie, I realized after writing that that a lot of people might read the poems without commenting. It is hard to know what to say beyond I liked that, or I didn't. It doesn't make you soulless.

A lot of people don't like poetry these days. I think it's because there has been a lot of incomprehensible drivel touted out there as the real deal.

You advice on the beard and hair modification sounds good to me.

seana said...

All this says to me, Brian, is that you yourself are thinking of growing a beard and are looking for a possible justification to Jenna.

adrian mckinty said...

Frankie

I like that. Nice and scary. Like a Friday night bouncer at kicking out time.

adrian mckinty said...

Seana

The bathrobe is definitely not the way to go I completely agree and maybe with a bit less sleep in my eyes.

adrian mckinty said...

Brian

I like that idea. Esp since I've spent the majority of my life beardless. And in truth will probably be beardless again in the future.

seana said...

Ding boom.

adrian mckinty said...

Seana

My favourite new phrase. And props to Peggy from Mad Men's mother.

seana said...

Myra Turley. If you look at her credits, there is hardly a TV show she hasn't been in.

One of those always working actresses who nobody knows.

Yeah, I can see ding boom coming in handy quite a lot, especially muttered under the breath.

adrian mckinty said...

Seana

I can't believe that they had a casting session for the photograph on Hector's desk.

Not only a casting session but Vince Gilligan actually directed the shoot for that one photo. That is attention to detail. No wonder that when Breaking Bad is good its very very good.

Sean Patrick Reardon said...

I agree with Seana, the beard and glasses give you that foreign, maybe even German look. Very intimidating and would cetainly work for what you need it for. You're a decent looking dude and even a Don Johnson stubble is a third option, and dare I say it, a smile?

seana said...

The Germans will like the non-smile, Sean. It suggests earnestness.

Adrian, the one thing I got from the podcast, though, is that they don't really understand that the season had its longueurs. And now no one will tell them.

I'm finding this more and more in creative fields--below a certain level of success, everyone's a critic, but once you pass that admittedly high bar, no one is.

adrian said...

Sean

The smile aint a terrible idea but it cant be a big goofy grin, that would ruin everything.

Adrian said...

Seana

You're dead right. The only way they'll ever realise that many of those early episodes were poor will be because the praise is less effusive.

Matt said...

David Letterman said one of his greatest regrets was shaving off his beard.

adrian mckinty said...

Matt

If I were Letterman I'd regret kicking Harvey Pekar and Bill Hicks off my show much more than the beard.

Dana King said...

Ah, the tyranny of shaving. I stopped shaving as soon as I got out of the army, where I often had to shave twice a day. I used to trim it for the summer, but the Beloved Spouse says she likes the "face lace," so it's a full time gig now.

Leave it. Do experimental designs with it once in a while. Shave it off if you get tired of it. It will always be there. Waiting.

Lew Archer said...

The glasses have thrown me off, entirely.

Without the glasses, I bet you would look like a real bad ass. You might scare the Germans, though.

swooperman said...

Very young Terry Waite-ish....not sure if thats good or bad?

adrian mckinty said...

Dana

I'm looking forward to the longish hippy stage. That could be interesting.

adrian mckinty said...

Lew

Only high ranking Nazis can be scary with glasses.

Peter Rozovsky said...

At this stage, you look more like a Russian or Serbian assassin than anything else.

adrian mckinty said...

Swooper

Young Terry Waite is definitely a bad thing. Five years chained to a radiator? All those dates and hummus? Nobody wants that.

adrian mckinty said...

Peter

But perhaps three months from now I'll look like Rasputin in which case I'll be hard to kill.

Peter Rozovsky said...

A beard is as much a state of mind as it is a faceful of hair. In the past I have had a beard. Now, I am just between shaves. It is a difference that only those of us who have had beards can know.

Rasputin is all right; so are Marx and Tolstoy. But when you look in the mirror and see Ted Kaczynski staring back at you, shave.
======================
Detectives Beyond Borders
"Because Murder Is More Fun Away From Home"
http://www.detectivesbeyondborders.blogspot.com/

seana said...

This is the soundest advice I've seen on this post yet.

And perhaps just in the nick of time.

kathy d. said...

My humble opinion is that you look great in that beard and the glasses, although, as has been said, lose the bathrobe for the photographer.

There is a Prussian look about that beard, and it projects intensity.

However, your spouse is rather an important person to hear on this topic.

seana said...

Losing the bathrobe was not precisely what I had in mind, but I like the Prussian imagery, Kathy.

adrian mckinty said...

Peter

No the Unabomber look works for no one not even other mad bombers.

adrian mckinty said...

Kathy

Prussian is good. Esp the old Prussian Junker officer building bomb to blow up Fuhrer look.

adrian mckinty said...

Seana

Nobody wants to see me without me kit.

adrian mckinty said...

I think the verdict is that the beard stays ...


for now....

Peter Rozovsky said...

No the Unabomber look works for no one not even other mad bombers.

Not even a hint of rakish charm there.

Well, good luck with the Serbian physicist/torturer look.

dpougher said...

Yes, but you need to grow it longer, much longer. Like all the bogans at the MotoGP last Sunday. Short hair and long beard. And a Harley.

adrian said...

David

Harley you say? Give me Triumph Bonny any day of the week.

genevieve said...

This blog beats Twitter any time. I have had very fine amusement reading all this, and now I think I can face the dishes.
Thank you linesmen, thank you ballboys. I think your photo will be ace, Adrian.

Dennis said...

NO BEARD! If I remember correctly you have 2 girls - I have three, and I shaved my goatee last year and they went APESHIT! So it looks like I'm stuck with it forever. Head my warning or pick crumbs from your face for evermore!

adrian mckinty said...

Gen, Dennis

I had the photo and yup it was bearded. Curious to see how it turns out.

seana said...

It's pretty weird how much beards have come up in my life in the last week.

Slate's had a couple of posts about the Amish beard fights, a coworker came up and started showing me a book of extreme beards, and just yesterday I overheard a random comment by two guys walking past saying something about how the bearded were the best vegans, or something like that.

I'm hoping that now the photoshoot is over, it will all die down.

I mean really hoping.

I am not a fan of the Santa Cruz skate look of big beard and no hair. Up till now, I think I'd been more or less able to ignore it.

Peter Rozovsky said...

I refer you to the definitive comment on beards.
======================
Detectives Beyond Borders
"Because Murder Is More Fun Away From Home"
http://www.detectivesbeyondborders.blogspot.com/

seana said...

But Peter, you've since lost your epithet!

Peter Rozovsky said...

I lost the beard; I kept the epithet.
======================
Detectives Beyond Borders
"Because Murder Is More Fun Away From Home"
http://www.detectivesbeyondborders.blogspot.com/

seana said...

Perhaps it might be best if you found a new epithet, though. Or is that something others are supposed find for you?