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If I was running Amazon.com's publishing arm these are the seven rules I'd have for my buyers. Why seven? Well by #7 I'd got this blog post out of my system hadn't I?
1. Don't publish any books that were written while the author was "experiencing real life" between terms at Harvard or Yale.
2. No books about a dog or a cat that changed the author, unless it was a cat or dog that ripped the author's face off like that monkey did to that woman a few years back. That might be ok.
3. No journeys to exotic locales to find yourself unless you find yourself becoming a heroin mule or a shoe bomber - again that might be interesting.
4. Nothing that Janet Malcolm could possibly like.
5. Nothing by bloated, pig ignorant plutocratic radio talk shot hosts who wouldn't know a fact if the fact was to wear a fact T shirt and dance around saying I'm a fact, I'm a fact, I'm a fact like that bastard annoying map in Dora The Explorer.
6. Hey do you like ALL the stuff you read in the New Yorker? You think it's funny and incisive? Do you? Yes this is a bloody test. Sorry you're not right for us chum, keeping on walking down to the bloody polo club or the yacht polishing society or wherever it is you tossers go.
7. Here's another test: how do you feel about Bono? Is he A) a talentless shortarsed hypocrite who makes you want to shed your skin from sheer embarrassment or B) a renaissance man.
8. Oh that's right it's out of my system now.
39 comments:
Good stuff, especially the monkey bit...Amazon have re published and published Charlie Williams, whose books I love, so they've done alright by me so far. It looks like they're willing to try something edgy. And with a sense of humour which is far from the New Yorker. Not as funny as Bozo, though.
I just bought Cleo, a book about a cat that changed an authors life. If I see a soft focus picture of a handsome cat on a book cover im buying it. Hmmmm...im part of your problem...Ill get my blog reader coat..
Hear, hear! It seems intelligent, well written thrillers and crime novels are like kryptonite for publishers. They have the mind set of a Nazi when it comes to genre - only purely crime or purely literary (whatever that means)will past muster. Novels by Daniel Woodrell,Tom Franklin, Richard Price and yer good self should be given a hell of a lot more attention and credit. I wholeheartedly agree with you.
Paul
It sounds like they're publishing some really interesting people. And pissing off Penguin etc. which can only be a good thing.
Frankie
No, it's out of my system now. Get whatever you like. Even Sneakie Pie Brown mysteries if you want. Thats the great thing about a blog post. Fire and forget.
Roy
I was fortunate enough to meat Dan Woodrell and have been a fan for years. Its nice that he never compromised for the market. He followed his vision which is what the great ones do.
I think I've got whiplash... I just read Catherynne Valente's blog, where she's very unhappy about this, basically saying if you think the big 6 are bad, just wait till there's only 1 (amazon).
It's odd, because she's already a small-press kind of person.
Personally, I feel like I need a better system for finding the books I want to read and weeding out the crap. Amazon used to be ok for that, but now they keep trying to push these 99 cent novels, most of which are junk.
Adrian, for the record, it was a very
large Chimp. Too feckin funny.Your
post made my morning.
Very interesting article and the comments were worth a quick look. I can see slamming the big publishers and agents, but the bookstores, that's just plain cruel. If given a choice, I'll always go with the ebook, doesn't matter where I get it from. Paper books have become a real pain in the ass, compared to my nook. BUT, if paperback is the only option for something I really want to read, I'll certainly take that route.
Well, my experiences with two of the big six haven't been good, but there's no doubt that the small press I work with in Canada has helped make my books much better than I could on my own.
We signed on with the big US publishers because that seemed the best way to get the books to market, so to speak. So that may be the biggest change here - a good small press can distribute to the whole world.
Maybe the big publishers will disappear - maybe they already did when they became part of "media companies" - but it's possible that writers don't have to go it completely alone.
Still, whatever happens, it's a good idea to give people the Bono test before gettign into business with them.
I'm not a fan of the mentality of the big publishing houses, but I'm not a fan of Amazon's plans for world domination either. I am a fan of small presses and imprints, as well as some of the self-publishing efforts I've read. So whoever's helping them gets points with me. But the big houses distribute some of the smaller lines, like for instance Random House distributing NYRB books and Soho, and Penguin helping get Europa books out there.
The latest flurry I've heard about is DC Comics giving exclusive digtal rights to Amazon for the first four months which is infuriating a lot of people who are not at Amazon.
I like Smashwords model, which publishes with a cross platform model, including but not restricted to Kindle.
I'm guessing there's a history between you and The New Yorker.
I can't say that I like EVERYTHING in it (actually, I don't read it hardly ever) but I do like to read it, especially when I find one in a doctor's waiting room. This is one example of something that I enjoyed in TNY: http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2008/06/30/080630fa_fact_gawande
Anyway, I liked your post and generally agree with it.
And, seven is always a good number for a list: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/7_(number)#Religion
Try not to be so restrained in your opinions, Adrian. The Amazon thing does sound good. Maybe book publishing could evolve into something akin to the indie music scene where you get yourself noticed through social media, Youtube, and so on. I noticed that Derek Robinson, who was once nominated for the Booker, has now moved to self-publishing. If he can't get one of the big publishing houses behind him they deserve to go under. Working at a library I get a close-up view of what publishers are churning out and it's clear that they're incapable of breaking away from whatever the latest trend is. We're buried under cosy cat/cooking/catering mysteries, Twilight clones, and memoirs by D-grade celebrities. Part of my job involves selecting books for shut-ins and I regularly send them non-mainstream literature and there's never a complaint. People are quite capable of enjoying something better than Stephen King, but publishing houses are simply too risk-averse. I've sent all your books to people who've been living on a steady diet of Stuart Woods and the like, and they haven't complained about the upgrade in literary quality.
Gav
I know her point of view but she's very much mistaken if she thinks she can predict the future. I think it will create pluralism and a more diverse market than the dull monopoly that the big six shove down our throats.
Paul
It was a chimp was it? I've never trusted those things. They're always up to something.
Sean
100% agree. You must always support your local bookshop first because when its gone you'll be really really sorry. My home town in Ireland Carrickfergus now has no bookshops at all. A couple of years back it had two. No record shops now either.
John
I published a book with a company that was part of Viacom. It was obvious from the start that unless I got some sexy publicity or very quickly became a hit then I would be cut loose. My job wasnt to write good books but to keep the shareholders happy. This was very dispiriting.
Seana
Yes I like the idea of a plurality of voices. Indies, the New York presses, self published e books, Amazon etc.
We're now in the golden age of brewing with dozens of quality microbreweries everywhere as well as the big four or five. Maybe we'll head into the golden age of publishing?
Speedskater
Its the boys club atmosphere that gets on my nerves. A very very small incestuous segment of American society setting the agenda for the nation and largely ignorning or condescending to the vast nation west of the Hudson.
Of course there are good articles. There's at least one in every issue, but their sins are very much ones of omission too. What wont they cover? What voices do they exclude?
I've never submitted an article or an essay to The New Yorker but I have had a couple of ideas for cartoons that I've been too chicken to send off. If I ever send a cartoon off that gets published expect to see a completel 180 reversal.
It would have to be a golden age of readers and I don't think it's that, as so many people read only what they just heard about through big media. Movies, HBO, Oprah--and on the nonfiction side, it's the news shows.
Sorry, but I'm on the frontlines and it's discouraging.
Seana
I know you are, but acorns...mighty oaks all that stuff.
I remember when I visited the Brooklyn Brewery and it was just a couple of a guys in a room. They had to create a market that didnt then exist.
Maybe publishers, good, smart publishers have to create the readers.
You're right, no one knows the future. One thing I do see is a lot of interest in kids' books, which is great. True, a lot of it is Rick Riordan right now, but that doesn't really bug me as much as every woman in the world reading The Help.
Seana
Havent read the Help but I do wonder if an upper class white woman can really put herself into the mind of a poor black servant. Its not impossible of course but race and class are such high walls to climb that you'd need a rare talent to do it without embarrassment.
From what I've heard it is an admirable effort but, well, what you say.
I think the expression is 'damned with faint praise'.
Now take a deep breath and have a little lie down.
David, keep this to yourself, but I'm pretty sure it's the beard talking. I think it's breaking bad...
You have hit that one right on the spot ma man...I was thinking of this the other day and the state of the publishing industry in Oz.
Much like your funny take on the NY industry I believe that here in Oz we suffer from a similar problem.
While not an expert in publishing in any way I like to think that I follow what goes on in the world of culture. So this is kinda related.
Publishing books is primarily about making money and therefore risk-aversion is the mantra. Let's kowtow to the 'cultural establishment' and follow their lead by pushing a barrow load of outdated ideals and assumptions and frankly boring stuff about some tosspot recalling the good old days, refusing almost point blank to take a risk and let a newer generation of writers lead the way.
It is desperate backward-looking stasis and cultural debate seems to be monopolised by baby-boomers who hang fearfully onto the ideals they espoused when they were younger.
Unfortunately this is reflected in the industry called 'publishing' and we have bookshelves lined with predictable and dull tomes, rather than challenging thoughtful and incisive literature....
grrr now I'm angry...and my argument is probably full of holes...time to put my cardigan on and light my pipe.
David
Sound advice mate. A wee lie down. A margarita. Some tunes on Channel 801.
Seana
I like it! From now after the shit goes down, I'll just say sorry that was the beard talking.
Dan
But if they started to publish original interesting voices in Oz where would we go to for next thirty seven books about the Kodoka Trail or Gallipoli?
And I dont know about you mate but I cant wait for the next sensitive coming of age story by a Geelong Grammar School student whose daddy wouldnt buy them a pony.
Every once in a while I look through the book section at a major retailer where they generally have a Top 20 Sellers section. 20 years ago, you might be able to find 2-3 readable books in the bunch.
In these times there is no chance. It's either Snooki's life story or fiction for illiterates.
Lew
Its a horrible reflection on our culture. I almost wrote doomed culture but stopped myself just in time.
I'm sorry Mr. -- McKinty, is it? -- but we don't think this post is right for us.
======================
Detectives Beyond Borders
"Because Murder Is More Fun Away From Home"
http://www.detectivesbeyondborders.blogspot.com/
Hahahaha...to be sure the Geelong Grammar memoir would have to fit in a long rambling tale about him questioning his sexuality, his renunciation of his protestant faith (then epiphanic resumption of it), his torrid relationship with Sarah, the character building trek through the Scottish Highlands, the investigation into the family wool business, the deep conversations he had with John Howard during moments of doubt, the sookie bubba counselling sessions and the rebuilding of his fractured relationship with his daddy on his deathbed....
Yes we do need another blow by blow account of how 'our' national character was forged by blood and sweat....not!
That list made me laugh out loud. I am a merchandiser for an audiobook catalog/website so I see what's coming out, and you hit the nail on the head. You left out D-List celebrity memoirs but someone mentioned those in a comment.
Mary
the D list celeb memoir. What a nightmare.
I enjoyed your rant.
So - back to the rumour mill - is it true you're being tapped up for the judging panel for next year's Man Booker?
I would enjoy the annoyance that would provoke.
Blackwater
Funny. I dont mind Julian Barnes that much. I actually liked two of his books, but that Howard Jacobson novel from last year was the worst shite I ever read in my life.
I was kind of hoping it was true. The scandals! The tears! The drunken diatribes!
And I imagine the other judges would contribute their bit of interest too.
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