Tuesday, November 1, 2011

The New Boring

Saw an article in the Guardian last week about The New Boring. My attention span is not what it was so I forget who wrote it and what it was about exactly (something about Downton Abbey and Adele I think) but I did remember the phrase and hated it for its condescension. But then I thought better of that. Here are my nominations for The New Boring: 
1. Brooklyn. People from Brooklyn, hipsters who live in Brooklyn, stories about hipsters who live in Brooklyn, TV shows about people who write stories about hipsters who live in Brooklyn. 
2. Ricky Gervais. (For his unfunny TV shows and movies not for his 'ironic' attacks on people with Downs Syndrome.) 
3. Comic books: great when you're 13. Unless we're talking about 2000AD which, er, I still read. 
4. Reality: Geordie Shore, Jersey Shore, The Only Way is Essex. I know we're doomed, you don't need to shove it in my face. 
5. The Huffington Post: vague fake-lefty new age poorly written schlock for eejits. 
6. God: both pro and anti.
7. Australian Sport: especially Netball and Aussie Rules. Netball is basketball for tall Edwardian ladies. Aussie Rules is Gaelic football with all the fun taken out of it. And since half (!) the teams in the league qualify for the post season the regular season games are meaningless as well as dull. (I except St Kilda from this rant, obviously).  
8. Blogging: What the hell am I doing coming up with drivel like this when I should be off writing The Brothers Karamazov or something.  
9. Zombies: Really? Come on, enough already. 
10. Vampires: See #9 above.