Every year the Bulwer-Lytton Competition asks people to come up with the worst opening sentence of an imaginary novel. This year's winner:
Theirs was a New York love, a checkered taxi ride burning rubber, and like the city their passion was open 24/7, steam rising from their bodies like slick streets exhaling warm, moist, white breath through manhole covers stamped "Forged by DeLaney Bros., Piscataway, N.J."
- Garrison Spik, Washington, D.C.
The rest of the winners here. You should jump on over, there are some classics. My fav is the winner of the romance section. Brilliant. There's also one by Diana Moloney near the bottom which cracked me up.