In yesterday's Melbourne Age a journo called Sebastian Cordoba (and if I had a name that cool I'd be an international jet setter not a humble hack) gave us his list of the ten most confusing films, ever. His list confused me because none of the films that I've seen on it are actually that confusing. However, as a service to loyal blog readers, here is Sebastian's list and my explanations in italics. It goes without saying that there is a spoiler alert operating here.10. Primer
This tale of backyard time travelling becomes so convoluted that even after several viewings you’ll find yourself wondering what just happened.
Actually no, it's very simple, the boys build more and more powerful time machines so that they can go back further in time and alter the past. In the very last shot he's building a mega time machine so that he can go back deep into the past and stop all of what we've seen from happening.
9. Don’t Look Now
Great film but can someone explain the ending? I’ve heard many theories but none that really make any sense.
9. Don’t Look Now
Great film but can someone explain the ending? I’ve heard many theories but none that really make any sense.
It's not his daughter, just a crazy little killer dwarf. That's it, nothing more complicated than that.
8. Southland Tales
I might be alone here but I loved this apocalyptic movie from the director of Donnie Darko. I’ve seen it several times and still don’t fully understand what’s going on.
8. Southland Tales
I might be alone here but I loved this apocalyptic movie from the director of Donnie Darko. I’ve seen it several times and still don’t fully understand what’s going on.
Haven't seen it.
7. I Heart Huckabees
This philosophical comedy needs to come with a reading pack.
7. I Heart Huckabees
This philosophical comedy needs to come with a reading pack.
Albert and Brad attain enlightenment at the house burning. By the way I know Wikipedia calls it a "philosophical comedy" but as far as I can see it is clearly neither of those things.
6. Vanilla Sky
Confusing or simply lazy plotting? You decide.
Haven't seen it.
6. Vanilla Sky
Confusing or simply lazy plotting? You decide.
Haven't seen it.
5. Synecdoche, New York
I didn’t get it…there I said it.
What's there not to get? He puts on a play of his life in the warehouse and it becomes increasingly complicated as he tries to make it more mimetic and true to his actual life.
I didn’t get it…there I said it.
What's there not to get? He puts on a play of his life in the warehouse and it becomes increasingly complicated as he tries to make it more mimetic and true to his actual life.
4. The Matrix Revolutions
I don’t know if I didn’t get what was happening or was so disappointed by the Messiah subtext of this final chapter that I chose to dismiss it as simply confusing. Either way a horrible way to finish a great series.
I don’t know if I didn’t get what was happening or was so disappointed by the Messiah subtext of this final chapter that I chose to dismiss it as simply confusing. Either way a horrible way to finish a great series.
The Matrix is eons old and all the stuff that happens in films 1-3 has happened many many times. Agreed though, films 2 and 3 terrible.
3. Mulholland Drive and any other David Lynch film
I love Lynch but I have long given up working out what his films are about and just sit back and enjoy the disturbingly hypnotic ride.
3. Mulholland Drive and any other David Lynch film
I love Lynch but I have long given up working out what his films are about and just sit back and enjoy the disturbingly hypnotic ride.
The first 60% of Mulholland Drive is Naomi Watts' dream/fantasy. The rest is reality i.e. she offed her girlfriend and is now sorry.
2. Donnie Darko
The director’s cut unnecessarily clarified many questions but my theory is that the film makes perfect sense if every time they mention time travel, they’re actually talking about a parallel universe. Thoughts?
2. Donnie Darko
The director’s cut unnecessarily clarified many questions but my theory is that the film makes perfect sense if every time they mention time travel, they’re actually talking about a parallel universe. Thoughts?
Agents from the future come to watch Donnie Darko sacrifice himself to save the world. Simple as that.
1. 2001: A Space Odyssey
The film does make more sense after several viewings and catching up on forty years of discussion but I have yet to meet someone who got it on their first viewing. The confusing film by which all are judged.
1. 2001: A Space Odyssey
The film does make more sense after several viewings and catching up on forty years of discussion but I have yet to meet someone who got it on their first viewing. The confusing film by which all are judged.
The monoliths have been going around promoting the evolution of intelligence in various species including humanity on Earth. Hal goes crazy because he has secret orders buried in his memory banks that apparently conflict with the mission to go to Jupiter and investigate the monolith there. At the end Dave encounters the monolith and becomes the next step of human evolution: the Star Child.
...
And in case you're still confused: Bruce Willis is a ghost, Jaye Davidson is a boy, Kevin Spacey is Kaiser Soze, Gwyneth Paltrow's head is in the box, Inception is a dream within a dream within a dream except at the very end which is real.
43 comments:
And speaking of movies. It's Sean Connery's 80th birthday today and there's a nice photo montage in The Guardian.
And Marsellus Wallace's soul was in the briefcase,or was it the Academy Award QT hoped to win? I'm so confused.
Happy B-day to Mr. Connery and thanks for the many years of entertainment he's provided me!
Sebastian Cordoba would be a good name for the Most Interesting Man in the World.
Stay thirsty, my friends.
Sebastian Cordoba's real name is Herbert Finklebaum.
==========================
Detectives Beyond Borders
"Because Murder Is More Fun Away From Home"
http://www.detectivesbeyondborders.blogspot.com/
Vanilla Sky..basically a guy in a stasis of some sort dreaming the whole thing. The dream turns into a nightmare from a bug in the system. I'd say it probably takes #1 in the list of movies I shouldn't have wasted time with that year. I remember it as being the first movie that made me realize what a nut Mr. Cruise was, but last night we watched Interview with a Vampire and I'm thinking the weird roles started much sooner.
And in the case of Inception real-ly disappointing. They couldn't dream within a dream within a dream within a dream up anything better than a bunch of car chases?
I'm confused. What does Sebastian Cordoba mean when he calls 2001 the confusing film by which all are judged? Does he mean all of us are judged (and presumably found wanting), or that all other films are judged in relation to it, which I don't actually think could be true.
Or don't you do textual analysis?
Sebastian Cordoba was one of many associate producers on Real Housewives of Atlanta and I find it confusing that that show ever was made. But I suppose that with hundreds of channels, someone has to be extruding the TV stools more or less continuously.
Sean
He did win the academy award though didnt he? Even though he tried to deny Roger Avery (sic?) a screenwriting credit.
Dana
I doubt he IS the most interesting man in the world though. Not if he was confused by the ending of Dont Look Now.
Peter
Of perhaps Betty Schwarz.
Glenna
Thanks for that.
Somehow I dont think I'll be rushing to the DVD shop to get that one.
I'm also a bit confused about my feelings for Sebastian Cordoba, a man I have never met.
Shull
I 100 percent agree. The dreams were the dreams of 11 year old boys. Chaste, English 11 year old. All guns and shooting and car chases. If this had been a French movie it would have been erotic wheels within wheels: much more interesting.
Seana
I think he means it sets the standard for confusingness. Rock Hudson famously walked out of the premiere baffled and swearing but I have to say I've never had any trouble understanding it at all.
Ah, who are yiz kidding? This post was just an excuse to run that fetching picture again.
David
You're kidding right? He writes for the Age but also produces The Real Housewives of Atlanta? Is he also - like the guy in Confessions of a Dangerous Mind - a CIA hitman?
They wouldnt have to change his name for the movie version of his life would they?
Peter
It does have a certain "I dont know what" as they say in Montreal when they're trying to piss off the Quebecois.
Seana
Perhaps he is the man by which other men must now be judged - or is that still David McCallum?
No comment.
But now I'm confused about why "I don't know what" sounds so much less intriguing than "j'ne sais quoi".
There's something about a handsomely sculpted thigh and a well-illuminated shoulder that stimulates one's appreciation for the cinema, yes.
It is no mystery at all, on the other hand, why Jacques Brel's "Le Moribond" sounds so much better in French than it does when Terry Jacks murders it in English as "Seasons in the Sun."
At the risk of sounding wanky, the film Vanilla Sky is based on (Abre Les Ojos)is way better and a little easier to follow.
It also has the bonus of Penelope Cruz.
If you want confusing, try the new version of The Wolfman; apart from not understanding a word Benicio del Toro says, the script is nuts
p.s. I've not been able to watch Sean Connery since he advocated domestic violence.
Haven't seen Vanilla Sky either, but the Spanish original, Abre Los Ojos, is well worth watching.
The one I don't get is Back to the Future. Like, how can he go 'back' to 'the future'? It's like trying to go 'forward' to 'the past'. It just can't be done, no matter how many times you duckwalk to Johnny B Goode. Even moonwalking the duckwalk to Johnny B Goode doesn't do it. God knows, I've tried ...
Actually, no - the most confusing movies of all time are the Sex and the City farragos. I mean, they don't even try to explain how the scarecrow got from Oz to Manhattan, let alone why he's flapping around in Dorothy's rags. Or am I just dim?
Cheers, Dec
I loved Ray Bolger. Now there's the man against whom all other men must be judged. Even if he does happen to be made of straw.
Declan, whatever you are, it's never dim.
I'd like to hear more about that advocacy of domestic violence, Rob, even if no one else would.
Seana
When asked the secrets to a happy marriage SC said you just have to give your wife a good slap on the arse from time to time.
It was merely a joke. And perhaps also a diversion: I think its obvious who rules the roost in that household.
Peter
Yes terry jacks is on my soundtracks for eternity in hell album.
Rob
You had me at Penelope Cruz.
Dec
Presumably you either had to watch that in your professional capacity or for some kind of ill conceived "date night". Fortunately I have avoided the entire franchise up to now. In the shallow spirit of the show I will add however that I do think the brunette looks alright.
If he'd just said "spouse" all would have been well. Of course, it's easy enough to say now.
I can't imagine there are two Sebastian Cordobas. He contributes to The Vine and seems to specialise in Top Ten-style movie lists and despite the Housewives link, he's listed as being Melbourne-based. Perhaps The Age just lifted it. While I accept they use the very best correspondents, particularly on the literary pages, they also pick up stuff for the sake of filling a gap.
David
Yes definitely a renaissance man than. Or a spy.
I agree wholeheartedly about the quality of the Age's literary reviews. In particular their crime reviews over the last year or so. Much improved.
There are plenty of films that confuse me, but I actually like it when the confusion is deliberate and clever.
The best example that springs to mind is the end of "Where Eagles Dare" when you don't know who is on what side. I've seen it loads of times, and I still find the end scene really gripping.
Philip
Speaking of Where Eagles Dare...I really liked the bit where the Nazis landed in the castle by helicopter. As all informed aviation enthusiasts know the Luftwaffe had several operational helicopters in WW2 as did the Wehrmacht and even the German navy.
to add to the list, all michael haneke films are potentially confusing if you like puzzles resolved in the endings. apart from that, the narratives as alex in everything is illuminated (the book, not the film) had been extremely confusing too ...
I mentioned that long discussion of German operational helicopters of WWII on Peter's blog to my nephew awhile back and I'm sorry to say he was among the dissenters.
I wonder if Sebastian Cordobas would be as confused as I am about this bone of contention.
Seana
Let the scales fall from your eyes
and watch this
there are several parts and long long discussions about all the Nazi helicopters of WW2 on YouTube.
Red Bike
I've seen two of his and they both made sense to me. The throat cutty one was just an incredibly lame story. And Funny Games was just a lame story with the odd bit of postmodern wankiness to make us think it was deep.
I am looking forward to the White Ribbon though.
Seana: Here you go. It's not just a slap on the arse he advocates
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrOPCrpoPdE
The White Ribbon is nuts but is beautifully shot
Rob
Hmmmm, not good.
But I dont think anyone's actually accused him of anything, unlike Saint Sean of Penn - a serial wife beater.
Rob, no, that does seem a bit benighted, and he doesn't do himself any favors by trying to rationalize it. Had to wonder if the whole no complaints thing at the end that Barbara felt compelled to make was just because his wife was afraid he'd slap her.
But actually, we have no idea what really went on within his marriage, and never will.
Adrian, as to WWII German operational helicopters, well, one should be careful what one wishes for, eh. I'll watch some of this though and then send it along to my nephew, who no doubt will be FASCINATED.
Okay, okay. I skipped the long discussions, and Parts 1 and 2 do seem to use a lot of the same footage, not to mention the same triumphalist score, but I take your point.
German operational helicopters of WWII: I assent to their existence.
Although film can be doctored, so...
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