Saw an article in the Guardian last week about The New Boring. My attention span is not what it was so I forget who wrote it and what it was about exactly (something about Downton Abbey and Adele I think) but I did remember the phrase and hated it for its condescension. But then I thought better of that. Here are my nominations for The New Boring: ...
1. Brooklyn. People from Brooklyn, hipsters who live in Brooklyn, stories about hipsters who live in Brooklyn, TV shows about people who write stories about hipsters who live in Brooklyn.
2. Ricky Gervais. (For his unfunny TV shows and movies not for his 'ironic' attacks on people with Downs Syndrome.)
3. Comic books: great when you're 13. Unless we're talking about 2000AD which, er, I still read.
4. Reality: Geordie Shore, Jersey Shore, The Only Way is Essex. I know we're doomed, you don't need to shove it in my face.
5. The Huffington Post: vague fake-lefty new age poorly written schlock for eejits.
6. God: both pro and anti.
7. Australian Sport: especially Netball and Aussie Rules. Netball is basketball for tall Edwardian ladies. Aussie Rules is Gaelic football with all the fun taken out of it. And since half (!) the teams in the league qualify for the post season the regular season games are meaningless as well as dull. (I except St Kilda from this rant, obviously).
8. Blogging: What the hell am I doing coming up with drivel like this when I should be off writing The Brothers Karamazov or something.
9. Zombies: Really? Come on, enough already.
10. Vampires: See #9 above.
36 comments:
How could you not put 3D movies on this list? I agree on Ricky Gervais' movies, but The Office and Extras are great. I'd add to the list anyone who uses the phrase, "we need a new paradigm..."
Cary
We need a new paradigm for judging Gervais.
Is Extras that funny? Cringe inducing yes, but actually that funny? I mean compared to Alan Partridge or Saxondale or The Trip or Spaced or the genius that is The Thick Of It.
I don't understand - did the Guardian writer say Adele was boring? I like Adele!
Adrian, I agree with you; the God debate is boring, especially here in the US. Many people here think you can't believe in both God and Darwin, and I'm too dumb to figure out why not.
I don't know anything about Ricky Gervais. He doesn't pick on people with Downs Syndrome, does he?
Martin Scorscese has gotten a little boring.
Here in the States, the Bravo Channel has been completely boring for twenty years now. Which is a shame, because it actually used to be very good.
NPR's weekend programming tends to be boring.
I'll add, talking about the future of books, the future of ebooks, the future of publishing, or any combination of the above.
Anything having to do with Facebook.
Any 'analysis' of the Republican presidential candidates, not to mention the Republican candidates themselves.
Kate
I think they thought Adele's music is boring, but I'm too bored to look it up.
Seana
I second that ebook/Facebook thing. In fact anything to do with computers. Its just words and pictures isnt it?
Seana
Newt Gingrich is worse than boring.
Adrian
UK critics can be downright mean-spirited.
This is kind of covered under the heading of computers, but I will also include any discussion of apps.
Kate
Or attention craving.
Seana
Except that one that tells you every star in the sky when you point your phone at it. Thats bloody amazing.
No, I don't mean the apps are boring. I mean that the chatter about them is.
I don't have a cell phone so I can't speak to their general interest. Of course one of the things that was nice pre-app was looking up at the sky with a chart or something and figuring out the constellations yourself.
For something unboring, you might want to head on over to Bookwitch's and watch the video she has put up there. For fun.
Seana
Veni, vidi...
Those star chart things from the newspaper NEVER worked for me. I cant figure out where anything was. That iphone ap was amazing. However I'm not getting an iphone or even a mobile phone anytime soon.
Yeah, forget star charts. I'm remembering now that I've only ever learned that stuff when a more knowledgable friend sttod there pointing them out.
Well, you don't have to worry about stopping the blog to write Brothers K, because it's been done.
Hip is over, I read in Adbusters yesterday. The new culture will be authentic, simple, earnest and sincere.
I guess I'm going to have to get rid of my hipster pose. This may take some doing.
1) Articles about the new anything.
2) "Debates" about the future of anything.
3) "The national conversation" about anything.
4) The word "apps." I tear up with gratitude when I see apps referred to as "applications," at least pn first reference.
5) I'll probably be back with more when I think of them.
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Detectives Beyond Borders
"Because Murder Is More Fun Away From Home
http://www.detectivesbeyondborders.blogspot.com/
6) Newspaper rock and roll "critics."
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Detectives Beyond Borders
"Because Murder Is More Fun Away From Home
http://www.detectivesbeyondborders.blogspot.com/
Peter
The New Yorker's Rock and Roll critic (!) Sasha Frere Jones deserves a special mention of her own.
Her name says all that needs be said about her. But I was thinking of the rote, pedestrian reviews that less lofty newspapers seem to think still require space.
======================
Detectives Beyond Borders
"Because Murder Is More Fun Away From Home
http://www.detectivesbeyondborders.blogspot.com/
How does one become a rock and roll critic?
Entertainment journalists waste a lot of erudition on pop culture, don't they? When a NYT writer called a Madonna video "impressionistic and haiku-like" I thought I'd heard everything.
All that money Madonna invested in being taken seriously obviously paid off.
Peter
But when Camille Paglia writes about Madonna, she isn't boring or pretentious. I want to know how someone gets a job writing boring, pretentious dissertations on pop ephemera for the Times and the New Yorker.
Kate, I suppose going by three names helps.
Kate
You are born very rich and go to the same prep school as Gwyneth Paltrow or the Ivy League. You make lots of contacts.
Thats pretty much it. Talent has nothing to do with it.
Someone once described The New Yorker as "nothing more than the house organ for the cultural mainstream" and I thought that was pretty apt.
Someone on Fox News once said America owes the world an apology for Gwyneth Paltrow and I thought, "I'm going to fry in hell for laughing at that and for watching Fox News in the first place." I'm still bitter about her Shakespeare in Love Oscar that should've gone to the middle-aged, un-sylphlike Brazilian actress in Central Station.
Someone once described The New Yorker as "nothing more than the house organ for the cultural mainstream" and I thought that was pretty apt.
Someone on Fox News once said America owes the world an apology for Gwyneth Paltrow and I thought, "I'm going to fry in hell for laughing at that and for watching Fox News in the first place." I'm still bitter about her Shakespeare in Love Oscar that should've gone to the middle-aged, un-sylphlike Brazilian actress in Central Station.
Thank you for exempting St Kilda
The thing is Ade, you've got your thing and Micheal has his. And the genius of Micheal...
Sorry for not posting the link for the last 'quip' but this is beayt for me:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BeTFVFPiMpo
Paul
My favourite bit
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K8BPP4ASQWo
Wonderful. And lovely, in it's way.
Adrian, I Loved Downton Abbey. I was surprised I loved it.
But stopping writing your blog? You should also be writing that letter to Hitchens too, in addition to writing the Sasha Frere Karamazov book....you know Hitchens and his dull writing about God.
Yep i agree (mostly!) and could if not for the sake of brevity add more.
hipsters...grrr..go to fitzroy for those rolled up jeans wearing, shoes with no socks, foppish haircutted, dragster riding malakas
ricky gervais...cheap and nasty...id love to meet him down a dark alley and get ironic with my docs on him...just for a laff y'know
comics...nyah
reality tv...puh-leeze..what is wrong with you people???
huffington...mutton dressed up as lamb generally
Oz rules...we may disagree on this sir, all due respect, though it has become a pale imitation of its past glory
bloggin'...i dare ya to stop haha
zombies..gee, no-one thought of that before did they?
vampires...soft porn...and bad at that...throw them to the goths and let 'em eat each other or whatever they do
funny post man :)
Nice supplement there, Dan, but don't dare him to stop blogging or he will take you up on it.
seana...oh yeah, didnt think of that one...shows how boring i am
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